Here, Hear, Here.

I'm writing to express my gratitude to Ginab and Matty for helping me to get my ass in gear. In certain ways, I'm doing well: I've been practicing lots of yoga, I'm (mostly) eating and drinking what I should eat and drink, I get enough sleep, and so far I'm continuing to learn from fate's awfulness. But when it comes to the immediate and practical things, I've been trying to pretend that I needn't pay attention.

Now that my friends have stepped in with ideas and advice, it's time for me to do my part. And I will. Issues having to do with finance and taxes and income -- I hate having to think about these things because they seem dry and abstract. I've always felt that there's something slightly immoral about money. But it's time. Ugh. Why can't the world operate a little differently for folks like me?



Here's the precise reason I'm grateful. I've always sort of thought that everyone is, deep down inside of themselves, good and kind and compassionate. I've recently found out that this might not be true in all cases. But I still have grave doubts that my original thoughts are false. Look, I'm not a Christian or a Hindu or a Scientologist. I'm nothing except maybe what yoga draws out of me. And I can't shake the thought that goodness isn't just possible, but that it is also common. I do hope I'm not deluding myself and being a fool.

To this day, my faith in my two best friends has not been shaken, and this proves that I'm not completely deluded. If I'm not, in this case, deluded, then there's hope for the future. If there's hope for the future, then there's something to strive for. And so I will strive, and perhaps through striving I will someday be proud of myself. If I am ever proud of myself, I will be satisfied and ready to get old and die. I will owe this to my two best friends, who I love fiercely.