This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Monday, January 07, 2008


Oh me, oh dear, dear me. . .

I've been soooo sick, and I'm tired of being sick! I spent the entire weekend in bed, watching Twin Peaks. I thought I was out of the woods but today at work when I tried to eat my lunch, I just couldn't. So I drove home, where I lost it. Now, I feel like I'm never going to be able to eat again. And I'm freezing! And ready to go to the gym! And I'm full of aspirations! It's so frustrating! I was just about to conquer the world!

I'm not that old, but you know, the more years you accumulate, the more of a concern illness becomes. Am I dying? Are these just the symptoms of some kind of incurable disease? Will I, in fact, ever be able to hold down a meal again, or am I going to starve to death, slowly, here in my freezing apartment? Right now I'm drinking hot water with honey, and though I'm kind of uncomfortable, so far I've been able to keep it down.

So while I was sick and Satan tricked me into thinking I was on the way to recovery, I realized that I've never watched Twin Peaks in its entirety. It's just amazing, up until the middle of the second season when I guess Lynch was pressured to reveal who killed Laura Palmer, after which he mostly abandoned the show; forced to prematurely string together a bunch of clues, the solution feels forced. He wanted the story to be an unsolved mystery and to allow the powers of evil to remain on the fringes while we learned about (and he discovered through trial and error) his fascinating characters, and I wish he'd had his way. I'm just about done, and from what I understand there is an unsolved mystery in the end, or maybe it's no mystery at all.

Anyway, over the holidays I went and saw the Joseph Cornell installation at the SFMOMA. The parrot-boxes you see here are the works of Mr. Cornell, dime store alchemist (& correspondent of Henry Darger! Creepy! Cool!). I wish I could show you here what exactly I saw, but I only had an hour to rush through & since I'm on my deathbed you're going to have to put up with my inadequate description. Of all the exhibits, the one I loved best was this free newsletter Joseph Cornell put out; it was written in a reporter's style, with editorial comments and lots of pictures Cornell had collected and then pasted into the body. The articles in the paper corresponded to the pictures, and many of the pictures were of birds, animals, and people in unusual situations. Clearly, the news stories had been written to make sense of the pictures, and the results were quite funny! Then I realized where McSweeney's gets their ideas (and, to an extent, The Onion). Interesting. . .

Now, Tibet

This is probably my favorite scene from Twin Peaks, wherein Agent Cooper reveals the kind of thinking that makes him the greatest FBI agent on the planet. Maybe there is more to the universe than meets the eye. . .

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Blogger matty said...

You made it to the second season of Twin Peaks at all?!?!?

You MUST be getting better! I gave up after the closing of series one.

I liked that exhibit, but I really liked the frozen race car! If you went in that room of 10 degrees this explains your relapse!

Feel better!

Stay home tomorrow!

Continue to drink hot tea and maybe some chicken broth. And, sleep! That is so important!

I do hope to see you sometime in 2008 and this supposed car you purchased. I will believe it when I see it!

Feel better, gorgeous!


9:51 PM

Blogger ing said...

Don't look at me! Turn away, turn away!!

It's 11pm, and I feel as though I've been clenching a five-pound sack of marbles in my stomach, and now Death has come and ripped it out through my throat, leaving behind a tight little void of sorrow (which I feel now, for myself). I have found one bearable position in which to rest, on my knees, sitting on my heels, with my torso laying flat against my thighs and the drown of my head pressed into my pillow. It's soothing to gently rock back and forth so my thighs massage my ravaged stomach, moaning and pleading for the Grim Reaper to come and take me away! I still haven't thrown up the water I drank, but soon. Look away! I think I hear him approach, Father Death, Father Mercy!

Yeah, maybe I'll stay home. I'm going to watch another episode of Twin Peaks in hopes that will distract me. Honest to god, I wonder if I'll ever be able to eat again. . .

10:56 PM

Blogger matty said...

Are you sure you're sick and not just having some odd spasm of autism of unknown origin?!?!


I can see it in the parrot cards! You will eat a piece of toast tomorrow and feel 70% better!

But, please stay home and take care of yourself!

If you need anything -- call me! I can stop by Rite Aid.

12:13 AM

Blogger purplesimon said...

Hey Ing, I think maybe you have a case of this global Norovirus that's doing the rounds. I've had it (most notably in 2006 on my honeymoon!)

It's a little like food poisoning with the same results. Take at least three days off to recover and keep taking fluids.

If it is the Norovirus, it's incredibly infectious! Matty, you have been warned!

I wish you all the best with your ickyness and hope you recover really soon.

As for Twin Peaks, it's been too long since I watched it, so now I'm thinking I should spend a weekend doing just that. Although I still have the final few episodes of Northern Exposure to watch and I so loved that show it might win out.

I'll report back at some point. Right now I'm working on three pitches and so bloody busy at work. Last night I smoked too much weed and had to lie down; next thing I know it's the morning. My wife was mostly unhappy.


purplesimon out...

5:41 AM

Blogger Ahvarahn said...

Diane, I am holding in my hands a bunch of small chocolate bunnies.

Well Twin Peaks really trips my trigger, I have to say, One and Two, the whole shebang. I have most of it on videotape, and have watched it nearly as many times as I have watched Blade Runner, but now that you mention it, I must get the complete set DVD’s, or the gold box that was released last year. I think the pilot itself gave away most of the manufactured murder stuff, although it was the series I preferred. It didn’t really matter who killed Laura, it was the characters and their bizarre interactions that were fascinating. I expect to be in bed for the first week of February. I think I will spend the time watching the series again.

I hope you get better soon Ing - I would suggest damn fine coffee, but I expect that would not be too good with the stomach. Not that I am a doctor or anything, but have you tried Ice cream? I don’t expect that it has any medicinal value but it’s full of sugar and fat (if you get the really good stuff) and it might stay down.

Be better,

P.S. I'm going to check for Norovirus on Netflix too; sounds like something well cool from the 80's.

12:53 PM

Blogger matty said...

Ing-Y! ...Once you're over this Norovirus thing --- you can get into the SFMOMA for FREE! ...but you have to be with me! ...Or B.

2:16 PM

Blogger matty said...

Yay! I got to actually speak with you -- first time in 2008 and you're alive!

2:26 PM

Blogger Ahvarahn said...

Diane, I am holding in my hands a polystyrene cup with the remnants of chicken noodle soup, and a reference book that provides a very basic understanding of a seemingly difficult topic. Page 234 focuses on appropriate viewing material for the sick. Diane, do you happen to have a copy of the movie The Man With Two Brains?

3:17 PM

Blogger ginab said...

well...there happen to be plenty of agents and laity that follow Agent Coopers reasoning all the way.

Being one of the laity, I just threw a pen point first to hit a single drop of water on the otherside of the pane. The ink had to dot the center of the drop for me to receive my answer surrounding your illness. The answer came finally, the answer came at last and without a doubt it is: go to a doctor.

3:50 PM

Blogger sage said...

May you get to feeling better soon--Satan must be really after you if you're condemned to watching Twin Peaks. I thought Dante said such torture was reserved only those in the inner rings of hell.

7:37 PM

Blogger ing said...


An autistic spaz? Hmmm, I'll look into it. I did, I stayed home, and I've been able to eat a couple of things, though I've had to be verrrrry selective. For some reason, I can't seem to stay awake.

So here's what happened. I woke up at 2 in the morning with this horrible, desperate hunger & yet not feeling like it'd be such a good idea to eat. I slowly forced down a banana. I woke every couple of hours with shooting pains in my legs and this distinct feeling that the illness had fragmented my existence (that's the only way I can describe it) and I was actually several people at once. Not several different people, but several replications of the same person. As the night wore on and I felt better, I became fewer and fewer, but being two of me lasted for much longer than I was comfortable and I wasn't sure which one of me to keep or what to do with the other one. And I think I understand Inland Empire a lot better now!

I've been awake for an hour and I'm sooo tired! I'm going to get some ice cream, like avarahn suggested. I'll be right back!



Mmmmmm, white chocolate raspberry truffle Haagen Dazs.

I don't think it's the Norovirus, because I only barfed once (by which I mean, I had one session of it), and then I went through the fever, and now I'm just tired, thirsty, and my stomach is a little sensitive. Sounds like this Norovirus goes on for day and days!

You probably knew that Northern Exposure was sort of a Twin Peaks spin off, yes?

I'm sorry to hear about the killer weed. Maybe you needed the sleep?



Thanks for the excuse to eat ice cream! I don't have a freezer, so ice cream never occurs to me. I wish I'd gone for plain vanilla. I'm picking out all the yucky chocolate chunks. Don't know why I'm so anti-chocolate all of a sudden.

But not anti-chocolate bunnies. I always wonder who "Diane" is & what she looks like. I wonder why she gets so many details of what Cooper eats and where he stays. . . is she sort of a mom to him?

I love it when Cooper asks, "Who's the glad-handing dandy?"

Norovirus is, yes, a killer eighties flick. Or a boy-band. It's hard to say. . .



Free tix to the SFMOMA? That's worth a drive to West Oakland, wouldn't you say? Let's do it!

So you liked that frozen car, eh? I had to rush on through, so I didn't go into the frozen room. But it was fun to watch the people wrapped in their gray blankets, standing next to this ice sculpture. I wanted to take pictures, but NOT ALLOWED!

I can only eat so much ice cream, Matty, and I have no freezer. I made it through 1/4 of the little container.



The Man With Two Brains? Diane, I will find that movie, as I suspect it will be just the ticket.

Have you seen Brand Upon The Brain? Netflix it! (Or go to your local independent video rental store)



That sounds like a strong message from the universe. . . however, and not to make excuses, my health care provider doesn't do a thing with you when you have a cold. I've been through this. They charge you for the visit and prescribe sudafed. The cure for the common cold, Diane, is plenty of rest and chicken soup.

7:48 PM

Blogger ing said...


Just missed you. . . Oh, no, I think god created Twin Peaks to help ease me through this. It's really helped!

I will be better soon. Tomorrow, I'm hoping. I don't want to think about my inbox at work! Aaaagh!

7:52 PM

Blogger purplesimon said...

Hey Ing,
Yeah, maybe not this nasty Norovirus, which is both lucky (it's nasty) and unlucky ('cause it's something else, as yet unknown). Hope you begin to recover soon and are back to your normal bubbly self.

Yes, Twin Peaks-Northern Exposure. One is so the child of the other. I love them both, but NE is going to win out as I've realised I only have TP on video and I'm a totally DVD/Blu-Ray household. So, on to the torrents tonight and gonna see if I can find it. Sure it's there.

I also saw that Lynch has released his early film school films; saw an art exhibition (sadly, online and not in the flesh, although I think it's coming to London) of his paintings. The guy is mad, bad and strange - which is all good.

Gotta run. TTFN

purplesimon out...

1:46 AM

Blogger PFE Music said...

You're not old enough to get sick and die ING!!!

4:23 PM

Blogger ing said...


I'm on my way! I took one more day off to rest & I'm feeling better, though very tired. Also, I can't seem to get interested in food. It's not that food makes me feel sick, I'm just totally indifferent to it. Very odd. Maybe my appetite will come back tomorrow. Or maybe I'll lose some weight.

I love Lynch's wood furniture. . .


I'm not? Really?! Oh, good! (I worry sometimes. . .)

6:23 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

Brilliant! Take care of your insides and out.Only a fool does not enjoy David Lynch. I go bed now. JW

9:29 PM

Blogger ing said...

I will, Josh, I will. . .

7:32 PM


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