This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

It's 10:45 pm,

and the blog is not an appropriate place to vent, so I will not vent.

Tomorrow during the day I will not let anyone else's assumptions bring me down. Tomorrow night I'm going to have some fun. Tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow I will seek out a friend who will listen.

Tomorrow. I wish it was tomorrow.

24 Comments:

Blogger purplesimon said...

Hey Ing,
Not sure my words will bring any comfort to you - and it seems that's exactly what you need right now - but I will try.

Bad days happen, but that doesn't make them any easier to handle. It's not easy to come home and not have someone there to talk things through with, to listen to you; it must be hard, especially after a shitty day at work.

But, as you point out, tomorrow is another day and it's here already. For me, anyhow. Yours will start soon enough.

I find people generally pick on others to hide their own weaknesses; it's a common form of bullying and it happens a lot on the workplace. Shame on them.

Hold that beautiful head of yours up high and let those beneath you wallow in their own anger and stupidity. You're better than that.

purplesimon out...

2:32 AM

 
Blogger ginab said...

Boy, it's taken three times to log-in to say something here, or to listen to you. (Explorer no likes my old system any more.)

But at 9:45 I swear you're pointing out a couple of ideas. People running late depend on you to be there.

Assumptions -- jeepers, I oppose them. And Si is right about assumptions being "the common form of bullying". Never fails to astound.

I wish I could show up with duct tape around my face. We could go out, have fun, and I would listen. I might have a dab of duct tape attached to my eyebrow following tomorrow morning's visit to the derm. I'll see if I can steal the roll!

By the way, the 18th was Greta Garbo and JCP's b-days.

Sorry it was in any way bad. I'd bet my mother you're well beyond it.

let the good times roll!

xo-ginab

4:55 PM

 
Blogger matty said...

Hang in there, babe.

It will work out.

I think the planets are totally wacked out of alignment or something.

I'm even sick of me being sick.

...and feeling like a big lonely drain of energy.

just sucks.

but, tonight is laundry! a purpose! so, that is good.

i hope the evening goes well for you.

4:56 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

Purps:

Yes, you bring comfort, and thanks! It is tomorrow now, and I have a newer perspective on all this.

I can't expect what someone else has proven they're unable to provide. I'm just disappointed they can't provide it. To me, it seems so easy. It would be for me, but I'm a whole 'nother person with a whole 'nother idea of what's important. That's all.

As for meanies, I agree that picking on people is a sign of insecurity. I have a lot of toughening up to do, I guess.

I'm so glad that your tomorrow is now!

________________

Ginab:

I guess I should rejoice in the idea that I don't have to be dependable. Except that I prefer to be able to depend. That's what works for me.

Man, I wish we could go out, too. I wish!

Greta and JCP; both have that quiet mystique. Happiest of birthdays to JCP!

And yes, tonight I am beyond and above and far, far from it.

_______________

Matty:

Yes, the planets. What the heck is going on? I did my laundry last weekend (after waiting for too long & things being just a wee bit too late). Clean laundry is a partial remedy for loneliness. Could be better, but it's something!

I wonder if you are around this weekend. . .

6:11 PM

 
Blogger ginab said...

"rejoice?" I dunno.

But on GPS, I remember you saying to me just as you wrote. Yes, she was creative or clever and nervous and I was there, dependable.

The irony of the word dependable rings out here (from you) of course.

7:52 PM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

Hobbies help, in 1975 I started not breaking wind. I am not sure if this is a hobby or an ordeal or some may call it weird. They say we use 5-7% of our brain...I would wager and I do not think I will find any arguments that 95% of my 5-7 is focused on my hobby....One day at a time. Kind Regards JW

8:22 PM

 
Blogger sage said...

Tomorrow never comes, but since yesterday has already been and today is the day after tomorrow from the time you posted, I hope your tomorrow was especially nice... Take care of yourself.

4:15 AM

 
Blogger Karen Little said...

Hey - it's only a day away... But, it's already come and gone so I hope your bad day's something you've already forgotten all about.

I'm so embarassed - you tagged me like a month ago and I only noticed now! but I see that you, like me, have been on a blogging holiday. anyway, will respond ASAP.

11:11 AM

 
Blogger ing said...

ginab:

Yeah, I guess I was being sort of sarcastic. In this chaotic world, there's no such thing as "dependable." There's just "mostly reliable," and I need to study the world and figure out what, exactly, I can rely on, and if what I can rely on doesn't match with what I want, exactly, at least I'll be one up because I'll know better how things really work. There's power in knowing.

_____________

Josh:

I call it neither a hobby, nor an ordeal, nor weird. I call it good public relations. And for you, a worthy distraction. I just hope that you keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel, etc.

_____________

Sage:

This day, everything's exactly as I want it to be, and I'm satisfied. I spent part of my day at work laughing. It was neat.

_______________

Karen:

Is it a hard-knock life, though?

Yes, I've been on holiday from blogging & have been doing yoga instead. Lovely, lovely. But I can't quite master this pose where I'm supposed to balance on my hands with one leg slung forward over my shoulder and the other suspended out behind me. . . maybe after eight more classes? I'm almost there.

Coming over!

6:12 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

Yay! It's time for yoga!!

7:06 PM

 
Anonymous Miss S. said...

Sweet Baby Jesus, I've been pretty anxiety ridden and self-involved since Monday and am only reading this now.

I'm so sorry, dear. You're a good, good, good friend and a good, good, good person.

I sorry work was terrible. I'm sorry I'm a day late and a dollar short, too. I'm going to ring you incessantly now until I know you're okay, and though it's probably too little, too late I'll listen to all you have to say.

Maybe there is a cosmic confluence this week messing up the lives of everyone?

Be better and don't break. You're strong and sweet and dear.

7:46 PM

 
Blogger ginab said...

Oh let's agree to disagree. My goodness! Reliable = sucker whereas dependable is a characteristic any person would truly want to have. Then there's the impression that dependable connotes loyalty, when reliable is more closely linked to trustworthiness.

As I say in my heart: I trust anyone to be capable of (achieving; blanking) anything. I kind of depend on the yin and yang of my trust in people. There's no real letting me down, but then I know I have been (everyone has been).

You seem ... I dunno ... angry?

very sorry.

I am so darn busy. And then my head's all twisted given I watched probably one of the best jazz drummers savage his skins with angst. Very painful to see. Causes all kinds of mirrors and questions to really pop up.

yeah it's Friday!

6:23 AM

 
Blogger matty said...

I will be at the new place in Oakland watching B work. Call us on his cell. Let's call it the ApplePhone because I think it cute when he gets upset that I call his iPhone the ApplePhone.

Anyway, we might be stuck in some form of HomeDepot/IKEA hell for a few minutes, but just call and you can come and join us!

Watching B construct walls and a platform is good for loneliness, too.

Last night I sat the chicken in one of our new windows at which BART travelers can marvel until we are all moved in --- in about a week!

9:07 AM

 
Blogger Ren said...

Personally, I wish it was yesterday... That way I would know what today would bring, and I would anticipate it.

Hope you feel better.

12:25 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

Miss S.

Oh my dear, I know that you (and sheesh, all of the rest of us, too) have a lot on your plate, and I love you unconditionally! Yes!

I'm overjoyed to hear that you're making friends. I'm even sort of weepy about this, but perhaps that's due to the time of month, if you know what I mean, wink wink. (Boys, start talking about bachelor parties or jock straps or football or whatever it is you talk about when I'm not listening. . .)

Honeybabe, I haven't broken thus far, and it would take a hell of a lot to break me now! Some days, though, I bend a little further than I want to. Yoga makes the bending that much easier, and every time I bow and say "Namaste" in Jehfree's class (he's my new yoga teacher, a guy who plays Elton John and Cindy [sp?] Lauper during the final shavansana, the man who reminds us at the beginning of class to let go of our thoughts about how our hair looks and what we're wearing), I really really mean it. My god, I found my perfect yoga teacher!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As for the cosmic influence, I dunno. Could be. I'm ready for some deity or cult leader to stand up straight and give me a full explanation. In the meantime, I have Will Oldham (album: Joya) to explain, or maybe I mean puzzle intelligently, about things for me.

Which reminds me; I have something on CD that I will burn for you because I know you will love it. Purplesimon is a fan. They're from Eastern Europe, unless I'm talking out my ass. I'm too lazy right now to google.

_____________

ginab:

I will always agree, because you are most brilliant. My own thoughts on reliability have to do with certain circumstances I wish I could''ve sussed out a little better (you understand). I find a whole lot of comfort in reliability, whereas I don't always find the future's unfoldings particularly to my liking, and I'm one of those stubborn, deluded people who predicts that things will go to my liking. Which means I'm very often disappointed. It's a silly habit. Or maybe I mean addiction.

Yes, everyone is capable of achieving (blank), but whether or not they will. . . What I mean is, habits are so incredibly hard to break! I'm reading a book about addictive personalities right now. I'll fill you in later, when I've learned something worth spouting.

Yes, I'm angry. I could use some drums to abuse, myself. But you know who just cheered me up?

______________

Matty did!!!

Hi, Matty. My lord, I miss you! Expect that applephone to ring and ring and ring, with the resounding, ummm—bong? of a hard apple hitting the bottom of an empty bucket. I plan to fill it!

Oops. My date, who is reliably late, has appeared. I will get back to you very soon. Know that the video you sent me, the one about top-borrowing, cheered me up so much!

xoxoxox!!!!!!!

Back to y'all later, my most valued dearest!

8:13 PM

 
Blogger ginab said...

I am glad someone can cheer you up.

Talk about having no control: I resent having to use this computer, and all of the daily tools, and being forced as tho I am some cog to perpetuate (versus influence) markets. I'm completely turned on by persons wanting to cut out the electricity (for starters). It's only then, an experience of self-suficiency, we can stand in our gardens or look up from our window boxes or from our trash heaps and reflect upon, through our questions to nature or to god, our dependable nature without any static in the reception.

and I actually believe because so few products that make it onto the global markets are of the free trade or are made or designed by women, (hang on!), that all of our complaints, all of our excuses for things not working out, for even our plates being full, for lacking even seconds to j-off or c-off, for all of the explosions in our lives and for those moments when we sit on our hands, roils against our nature. It's the male lingo. Because we invented no such thing, because we would not speak that way, because we fell for buying a cute puppy under spells of commerce through good intentions, because we're dependent (even the richest person in the world is dependent) upon the mulla (or, is it that?).

So I say, break the plate. Stop talking. Log-off. Let it go. Be who you are.

8:06 AM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

Its 11:22 PM and I am tired and going to bed,I took a little drink about and hour ago and it went straigt to my head. Oh, I've been reading George Saunders and like his collection of essays, as suggested. His fiction I look forward to reading...Thanks JW

8:26 PM

 
Blogger Ticharu said...

I thought that read like a poem...

5:26 PM

 
Blogger matty said...

It is so interesting. I just stop'd by to see if you had any updates and had found a way to release that anger ...and it was 10:45 exactly.

I got side-tracked so it is now 10:51 as I type this. ...but thought that was interesting.

Liquid diet pour moi tomorrow -- big tests on Thursday!

(i'm so excited that i'm spitting)

10:54 PM

 
Blogger ginab said...

it is still 10:45PM?


xo-ginab+bb

6:22 PM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

Just stopped by, grabbed a beer, a domestic, I did not want to take your fridge for granted...Cheers JW

6:55 PM

 
Blogger wisdomstuff said...

Here is hoping things got better. I have days where I hate everything too!

6:53 AM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

Not reading enough read a George Saunders collection of essays because of your recommendation...now I add this from Mr Twain, which I am not sure, if it is applicable but what can I do?
We do make the journeys we seem to make: we do see the things we seem to see; the people, the homes, the cats, the dogs, the birds, the whales, are real, not chimeras; they are living spirits, not shadows; and they are immortal and indestructible. They go whither they will; they visit all resorts, all points of interest, even the twinkling suns that wander in the wastes of space. That is where those strange mountains are which slide from under our feet while we walk, and where those vast caverns are whose bewildering avenues close behind us and in front when we are lost, and shut us in. We know this because there are no such things here, and they must be there, because there is no other place.

6:14 PM

 
Blogger Dan L. said...

I trust you are well. I suspect you are, but pray anyway...because we all need love one way or another.

--Dan L.

10:48 PM

 

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