This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

My MySpace LoveLife, My Tarot, My LoveSpace LifeFortune, Etc.

Apologies, apologies, I have been away. I fell for some dude I met on MySpace.

Well, technically I did not meet him on MySpace, nor was I willing to do so. I avoided it like the plague, the "meeting" part, because I've never met a guy online who was right for me. My picture says nothing about who I am, and I know it. Men don't know it, though. Or maybe they do. Maybe they know as much as they need to know. . .

In any case, I met this person THROUGH MySpace, and I only met him in person because my friend S recommended him, and now I'm completely confused about everything. Why, oh why, can't I have a normal, lasting relationship with someone who actually loves me? Why, Mrs. Palfrey, WHY?!?

In any case, I don't mean to talk about these things here, but I'm quite certain this man doesn't read my blogger blog. And MySpace, I've decided, is populated by people who are too young and too visual. You, my friends, like to communicate. So I said adieu to MySpace and committed blogicide. Which is something I'd never do here, at least not as long as I have Gina and Matty (two writers).

Now, do any of y'all read the tarot? Because this is my love life reading. My friend S, whose father was a tried-and-true Pagan, read them for me, but I'm not ABOUT to go spreading the word. You can, though. Please feel free.



This is me and my friend S, who has been my constant companion, and though I'm sure she'd spit in my eye for saying this, I feel like she's my much younger neice sometimes and I am the indolent wreck of an aunt, full of the best intentions & foggy wisdom, cobwebs and kindness. She's an upstart, and she does everything FASTER than I do. I am an old woman. I grow weary at night. But I do not wear granny panties. I cannot speak for S and her panties. No, we are not lesbian lovers. But if we were, it would be quite popular on The MySpace.



All righty, then, as you can see, this posting has absolutely no structure. I need to write more, and write more I shall. I am going to fight tooth and nail not only to be the best publicist the world has ever seen, but to make a new story, one with structure, perhaps about love (and please dear god do not comment any further on me and my story or you will jinx it because I simply can't discuss a work in progress or it will sink like my grandmother's brandy-soaked fruitcake).

Here's a picture of the cash register at my new favorite bar, where you see S and I in the previous photo. It's in Chinatown. I wish I had connections in Chinatown. I would love to live there.



See you later!

22 Comments:

Blogger matty said...

I don't know how to read the Tarot, but I feel that there are far better things in 'the cards' than what you're getting now.

...and, I shall say no more about that 'here'!

I'm gay, but I am a man. And, I know a hot looking, intelligent, fascinating, funny, kind and almost perfect woman when I meet one. And you are all of those things and more.

You are.

I'm not a writer, but I play one in blog land and I thank you for calling me one. Gina and you are writers. Exceptional writers.

You don't need connections to get a place in Chinatown. You simply need to walk into one of the reality offices and say you want to rent an apartment there -- and "PRESTO" ...you will get one. I would be more than happy to assist!

I wish I had a slice of your Grandmother's brandy soaked fruitcake -- tho, it would probably cause me to slip into a coma due to the medication I'm currently taking.

Anyway, I wish I could think of a way to articulate what I'd like to say. But, my best shot is to create a list of 3 things:

1. Believe
2. Hug
3. I love you

11:44 PM

 
Blogger Ticharu said...

Hey Ing! Great to hear from YOU!!

I don't know how to read Tarot either unfortunately... Matty is right about you, you know, and I've never met you but I know I'd be fascinated, enraptured and completely enamoured. :)

The only advice I can possibly offer about love is from the Taoist philosophy... simply do not look for it. Kinda bogus I know...

Here's the thing about the 'wife-slave' moniker. I asked her what name I should use to refer to her in my blog, and she would rather I not refer to her at all and write a completely fictitious account of Ticharu.
I tried that at the beginning, but it evolved into the sterling piece of autobiographical hysteria we know and love today!
Wife-Slave is HER choice of moniker, and I'm quite sure she was trying to be offensive, but I have to respect her wishes.
I think she is quite offended herself at being 'married' and having the state involved in what should just be a relationship between 2 people.

I won't start regular blogging until the days get a bit shorter, but I'm never too busy to correspond with you. Just give me a shout!

bye bye!

5:33 AM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

I have a My Space page I set up so I could read my sisters, she and her friends mess around on it and she talked me into it, but I am not sold, about the only mail I get are from under age woman who are lonely, my photo is a cupie doll with a Steve McQueen doll head stuck on top, this my sister put on for me.
So my space, who cares. As for your tarrot, great things, are going to happen to you, oh I have the plans to save the world in a safe place, never fear.
Again, super duper good things are on the horizon, them cards, they told me.Especially that one the hand is pointing at, very good fortune.

2:14 PM

 
Blogger zoe krylova said...

thanks for your comment on my blog. i read tarot cards! i also used to live in san francisco and am enjoying the way your blog takes me back there. cheers!

6:54 PM

 
Anonymous S said...

No spit your eye, m'dear. Everything FASTER? I dunno about that. I feel like a turtle running at breakneck speed. I agree with Matty.

I'm not a gay man, but I am a straight woman, and I also know an intelligent, fascinating, funny, kind, hot and likely perfect lady when I meet her. It creates the kind of jealousy that makes lightening bolts fire out of one's eyes or friendship laced with a feeling of supreme luck.

You know what I believe: the cosmos is like a hand puppet; it pops out of alleyways and flowerbeds and countertops and places we least suspect. It breaks out into song sometimes. It breaks out in proverbs and parables. It's a whimsical little fucker. It plays the most with its favorite toys of which you, I and everyone we know are only a few, but in the end it delivers us to the places we most need to be.

From one angonizer to another, you deserve only the best and one day, soon, I'm sure (absolutely certain of it), you will get what you deserve.

9:24 PM

 
Blogger matty said...

Ing! Pizza! And, Diet Coke!

And, a hug!

Yes?!?!?!

4:01 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

Matty:

Really? You think I could get a place in Chinatown?!

I'd slip you a piece of that fruitcake if I could find one. Somewhere, on the ocean floor, you'll find one, preserv'd by the briny sea. . .

I love you, Matty. You get better!

______________

Yay, Ticharu!

Awwww, thanks! Can I borrow your hair?I was looking at your picture and I want mine to grow into something that looks just like yours!

Your wife-slave sounds really cool! But I think it would be neat to be married to someone who loved me! 'Course I was with a guy for fourteen years and we owned a house together and everything seemed to be working out just fine UNTIL (no lie) the day he asked me to marry him. Six months later, it was over. Odd.

I'll hop over to your place every so often and say hi. I like hearing about your days & the house-building and so forth.

_____________

JOSH! JOSH WILLIAMS, is that YOU?!

I used to get those messages from underage women, too! They were looking for cute guys. I guess they thought I knew a bunch of cute guys.

Thanks for clearing up my cards! Now that I'm certain what the future holds, I feel that I can face it full-on. You've relieved me of a considerable burden, Josh. What can I do to repay you? What?!

________________

Zoe!

I like the way you write. You seem like a very cool person.

_________________

s:

Ack, I'm sorry I didn't have time to answer your t-messages, but they made me feel good!

I'm starting to feel jealous of myself. I don't know if I can live with my own company! There's too much competition in San Francisco!

You are a smart cookie, s, and a hot cookie, too. A pokie. (Does anyone else know what I'm talking about?)

I'm going to feed that cosmos to a hungry bobcat. Ha! You'll see. . .

Does anyone you know get what they "deserve"? I haven't seen that.

_________________

Matty!

Portabella sandwich!

Please rest, my dear. Rest. Please get better. Brenda will be relying on you.

9:55 PM

 
Blogger matty said...

the doctor failed to complete the other required form. ugh! she is going to do it today but it delays my short term dis. payment by 2 weeks. Ugh!

Oh well.

No. I don't think you'd enjoy living in Chinatown. But, you wrote you wished you could -- so, I mean, you could.

Yes! And the burgers were good!

Poor little Brenda!

10:59 AM

 
Blogger sage said...

I'm out of breath reading this, but laughing and I don't know why, relationships that sour before they start ain't funny, but telling about them can be. As for the cards, my only advice is to keep them close the chest...

11:23 AM

 
Blogger ginab said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

2:37 PM

 
Blogger ginab said...

was trying to read the Tarot card, but alas...no comprende mwa nada blah.

glad you quit the I-me-mine space. Them youngins, talk about V!.

I have promised myself I would submit. I will. This FALL. I will. There's a cool program, several, right-in-and-around-you.

But anyway, I'm powerless (big storm, wires down) until about Sunday. I have a cell phone and I'd give you the number, but I'm on blog which is wide open.

Is nothing private anymore? (I've never understood that mangled question so I thought I'd put it to you who can put it to S who is faster than you but neither of you wear granny pants.)

I got it.

You're ___________!

-ginab+bb

2:39 PM

 
Blogger Ticharu said...

I don't know if you can get hair like mine in the city. I think the city makes hair dirty, so you have to wash it...

7:08 PM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

You have repaid me tenfold and I was not even charging. Yes, Tarot cards I know frontwards and backards,as far as carot cards I do not have much use for them, they seemed to help my night vision but thats about it, if I needed to improve my night vision I would just use a flash light.Notice how I did not ask how your story was going? I'm sensitive that way....JW

5:18 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

Matty:

2 Weeks! Ugh!

I'm staying right here, where I am. I don't think my mother's happy about that. . . But this is a great neighborhood, and I like my place, and things are going all right for me.

Are you SURE you want to move to that scary neighborhood? Will you be safe? I'm sort of worried about that.

_____________

sage:

Oh, it hasn't soured! It's pretty sweet, actually. Just confusing sometimes. I think things are as they should be, and I can dig it right now. It's strange to be dating someone again, that's all. Don't know how it's "supposed" to work, but I like what's happening.

_______________


Ginab:

Submit! I need to do the same. I need to work on stuff. Tonight I paid my bills and got caught up. . . almost, anyway. After a trip to the bank, I'll be alllllllll riiiiiiight. Whew!

Email me your cell. I won't tell a soul.

I think we're all still private as can be, I think. Aren't we? It's hard to be private in this day and age. Good think I don't have anything to hide, except occasionally ME.

_____________

Tich:

Yeah, but I bet you make your own soap & all that wholesome kind of stuff, right? How do you keep your hair so purty?

_____________

Josh:

Yes, you are a sensitive dirt-biking man. I always knew that. Drum circle, please.

I'm glad the carots are doing the trick. I had carots for dinner. I can see for miles. I can see clear to Indiana.

9:33 PM

 
Blogger zoe krylova said...

hi! i tagged you for a meme. rules are on my blog. . .

6:10 PM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

You can see to Indiana? Did you see the intruder who stole the keys to all my stuff?... Ok if you did not but if you did would you mind filling out a police report? Thankee JWW

7:55 PM

 
Blogger matty said...

Oh, it will be fine! ...and you can do your laundry for free!!!

...and, if we don't like it -- we will just return to GayTown. ...tho, it appears that Oakland is working on becoming more queer than SF anymore.

(or so I'm reading)

4:11 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

Zoe,

Oh, Zoe. You made my posting life so much easier! I've sort of figured out that it takes me DAYS to revise something to get it to the point that it doesn't sound like a gifted simian didn't compose it.

So much easier to answer questions!

_____________________

Josh:

I had an eagle eye out, but I somehow got distracted by your OTHER neighbor, the hot guy who mows his lawn in nothing but cutoffs? I'm so sorry. . . HE should be in jail, though, that lawn-mowing neighbor of yours. I feel so lucky, what with my perfect eyesight!

Anyhoo, I can fake a police report, if you like. I'm very credible. Let me know.

_______________

Matty:

Yes, I know it will be fine. Don't know why I worry so much. I just want you to be happy & to have the best and the greatest, always and forever.

Sounds like Oakland is on it's way up to the east side, yeah? Your loft is to die for. An architect's dream. . .

8:20 PM

 
Anonymous ahvarahn said...

you look like martha wainwright in that picture, but a happier martha with a better smile.

12:31 PM

 
Blogger Dragon said...

S does wear gramma panties, but only on special occasions, like solstice and samhain.

1:57 PM

 
Blogger Melliferous Pants said...

I once fell for a man child I met through Hot or Not. (Yes, really.) All was fine and dandy until I discovered MySpace and learned that he had handfuls of girlfriends and he called us all the same pet name. Boys shmoys.

10:18 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Song of Deborah


...They chose new gods; then was war in the gates... Awake, awake, Deborah: awake, awake, utter a song... the LORD made you have dominion over the mighty... Curse ye Meroz, said the angel of the LORD, curse ye bitterly the inhabitants thereof; because they came not to the help of the LORD, to the help of Justice against the mighty... Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? So let all thine enemies perish, O LORD: but let them that love him be as the sun when he goeth forth in his might. And the land rest forty years. Judges 5.

Deborah Palfrey deserves the Pemberton Award for Clean Governance.
Palfrey list is like the Black Book of 1918.
That Trial of the century is deleted from all books.
The list there had 47000 names.
The list here has 46000 phone bills.
The listed are not womenizers, machos or ordinary sinners.
They are power brokers, gay lutheran whock and awe agitators of all wars and all panics.
These wretches are one dirty cover to the real pimps deep undercover.
A curse on the kingpins, Justice Charles Darling then and Judge Adolph Kramer Kessler now.

Noel Pemberton-Billing
Trial of the Century 1918

3:59 AM

 

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