This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Washing, Drying

Warning: this video makes some noise, so if you're at work, you might want to wait until it's safe.

Anyway, I didn't get much done this weekend, which was nice. I have a work meeting tomorrow, for which I didn't prepare, but my dishes and laundry are clean, and look, I installed a bike hook (which was the perfect excuse to go for a little ride).

Now do your dishes!

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Blogger ginab said...

Geez, I'm going to call you Betty Crocker. Is that okay? I mean, you're a domestic ringer!

But did you buy one of those cameras like Mandy has? I wish I could have one. Maybe next year. By then I hope to be much better at painting pictures ...

doesn't it feel good to have all those errands and chores done and outta of the way? meetings-shmeetings!

8:12 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Click for befuddlement

2:52 PM

Blogger matty said...

I'm so excited!

I haven't seen you in well over a week so I sorta got an Ing fix!

However, I have a few questions:

1. Why did you take down you glitter disco ball collection? You know, the ones that suspend from your ceiling. And, NO -- they were not even in the way of the bike. Why were you not cleaning the dishes in that disco glow you love so much?!?!?!

2. Also, you Liza Minelli LP collection was directly behind you. Are you trying to deny your love of Liza to your public!?!?!?

3. Now, that we know you're an aspiring filmmaker (vlogger) I think we need both a fashion show and a Q&A with Ing!

...we should send in our questions and you should film your answers.

...oh, and put the pole back. You fool no one!

Awesome video! As per usual, you rock!!!!!!

...and, with clean dishes! did you time it so well with the song?!?!!?

5:51 PM

Blogger ing said...


Martha, you mean? Yes, I strive to be. . .

I have a digital cam that I bought a couple of years ago, and it's taken me that long to figure out how to make movies with it. It's fun!

Yes, it's fun to have the chores done, yes! More fun than going out sometimes. I can't relax unless I feel like I"m on top of things.

But when I discover things such as how to make movies, everything else goes out the window.



Judging by the looks on your faces, I'd say "admiration" is the word you meant to use. I am the star of my own movie! A movie star! Don't be intimidated. I can't hurt you with my stardom, I can only shine.



1. The glitter ball sent these spots of light flying across the floor and around and around on the walls, and I got tired of chasing them but never catching them.

2. I would have displayed the duplicate albums from your Liza collection that you loaned me (Really, that was a gift? Then why did you have me sign those papers saying that I would return them?), but remember how you stipulated that I had to store them in a lightproof, temperature-regulated safe?

3. As you know, I have a fashion face, and my clothes don't fit, and that's fashion. But my camera doesn't record sounds. Perhaps there's an appropriate song I can post. Will you be in my fashion show with me? Will B build us a catwalk?

4. I thought I told you not to go public about the pole thing. It's for private parties and job interviews only!

5. I cut down the film so its length would match the song's. Easy shmeezy, Mr. Sneezy.

8:59 PM

Blogger matty said...

I think your shine just befuddl'd me. No, it just made me smile.

I forgot about all that trouble your glitter balls had been causing! Where did you put them! I'd like to have B work them into our design here in the ghetto- uh, I mean Oakland.

Liza? No. That contractual agreement was in regard to the Barbra CD's I've given you. Liza is a fandom of your own design. But, I respect it.

I apologize about the pole. I thought that joint job we had in the Tenderloin scrap'd that silence agreement regarding pole work. My bad.

And, you ARE fashion!

I think your cell phone makes movies. It has sound.

Anyway, I think you need to make a another video. A tour of the Castro!

I'd love to do a fashion show. ...but my clothing is too small.

10:01 PM

Blogger ginab said...

Martha in SF makes sense to me. I'm no longer befuddled (but was that really me?). Funny pink gloves you wear dear MS. My own could use a pair.

And on tech holed up in a box for a couple of years: bravo. Personally, I already have a new year resolution: no tech in the home, no land line, and so forth. I've had it. All i want around my neck is of my own doing, as one probably says according to a script of the era 1930s.

put down the dishes tho and write.


4:03 AM

Blogger Ahvarahn said...

absolutely loved this, and smiled a lot. it's happy and full of golden charm. thank you, no befuddlement here. what with the writers strike that's about to hit LA (again), i feel there are oportunities for an *Ing series.

7:13 AM

Blogger sage said...

A labor of love? Do you get that much enjoyment out of ironing

5:53 PM

Blogger ing said...


The glitter balls are in my sparkle case, safe & sound. Along with your Liza Minnelli albums. Which, it's awfully generous of you to give me your spares and your fandom, but have no fear; your Liza fetish is intact and it belongs only to you! I tried, in your honor, to worship her, but I can't, Matty. I just can't. I know she's second only to Barbra in your mind, but every time I think about those records, deep in my case, and I see the 20-page contract you made me sign, every time I think about the impending lawsuit should anything happen to your "Little Minellis," I shudder.

Did you survive the big quake? I was in the Castro theater watching Eraserhead when it struck. Henry was pulling umbilical cords out of Mary and throwing them against the bedroom wall. I would have been happy to die just then, but Alan saved my life. He is my hero.

Matty, if I had died just then, do you suppose anyone would have stopped to think that I was watching my favorite movie at the time? Or would they be distracted by death itself?

It's okay about the pole thing. I did move in on your corner and I guess I made a dent in your business, so we're even. That pole really did wonders, back in the 'loin, eh?

My cell phone makes noises, but alas, it doesn't make beautiful art films.

A tour of the Castro, eh? Hmmmmm. . . . . .



Pink. The only color I wash dishes in. Makes the dishes cleaner, the pink gloves, and the drying so much quicker, though I can't say why or how. It's a mystery, as math is a mystery, one of life's many wonders.

My tech wasn't holed up, I just didn't know how to use it. I can sort of take pictures, but all that exists beyond that I leave, like calculus, to the Einsteins and so forth.

I don't spend much time on the dishes. Just enough to ward off the chaos.



I'm so glad! I enjoyed making it, for sure. Did you like the special effects? I included a moment of black and white at a very key moment, and just a little bit of blurry tracing effect at a point of high mystical drama.

Another writer's strike? I don't want to be a scab. . .



Ironing? You do that with one of those hot, flat things, right? Do they still manufacture these "irons," or does one now have to buy them on the black market, with their hush money?

I try to have fun at all times, though I will never, ever enjoy paying my bills or trying to figure out my taxes. And I suppose I could do without waiting in line at the grocery store. I just love doing laundry (I drive across town so I can use the laundromat across the street from my old bookstore, then I visit my friends). I like to sweep and clean and organize. And wow, do I love cooking! I hope these things I sincerely enjoy don't set me back 55 years. Because I really am a feminist. I just happen to like homemaking. And carpentry. And gardening. And doing electrical work. And painting.

Damn, I need to find a cool, cheap city and buy me a house! I hear Minneapolis is nice, or Asheville, NC.

9:58 PM

Blogger sage said...

I love ironing while watching old movies... Don't mind most housework, but I hate plaster and drywall, I'll sell you a set of drywall tools cheap!

I use to live near Asheville; I loved it, but it's changing too, although in a nice arty kind of way. Minneapolis, just be careful of the bridges... I'm wondering if there's a way to make a living in Jiggs, NV? Or maybe Stanley, Idaho or Bridgeport, CA, or even Golden, BC?

8:20 AM

Blogger matty said...

Alan saves lives. He does!

I can only suspect that an earthquake during a viewing of ERASERHEAD must so rock.

I can't believe you out'd my Liza fetish.

Actually, I'm thinking of starting up the pole work in Oakland. Wanna come with? We could be back in the $$$ in no time!

1:04 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

I have a lot of chores on my plate as well. Dish's? Soap is over rated. I watched the entire video, strong work! Now here is a tip from a guy that is not very domestic, take your spounge and put it in a bowl and microwave it for about three minutes, this will kill all the germs and make the sponge real hot so do not pick up the sponge let it sit for awhile. Do this and you will really be clean. But then again without any germs you immune system may become compromised so I suggest not following my advice, dont even do the dishs, build up your immune system, and pursue video arts...

3:52 PM

Blogger Ren said...

I got this strange, tingling feeling when I saw the rubber gloves...

6:58 AM

Blogger Ticharu said...

That was really cool!!! It was like being a little gnome on yer countertop! I was a little worried by the big knife but as I'm made of porcelain, no fear...
Lovely video really! :)

4:55 AM

Blogger ginab said...

I need to do the dishes. blech.

12:55 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

Shine on you...this comment was influenced by Wolfgangs Vault

3:15 PM

Blogger matty said...

Like Laura sang, "...a little magic, a little kindness --- oh, sweet blindness all over me! Four leaves on a clover - I'm just a shade hungover. Come on, baby do a slow float -- you're a good lookin' riverboat and ain't that sweet-eyed blindness good to me! Down by the grapevine, drink my daddy's wine --- please don't tell my mother - I'm a saloon and moonshine lover..."

kisses, matty

4:35 PM

Blogger matty said...

Did I tell you I found THE perfect Xmas gift for you?!?!!?


That 4 disc vinyl edition of The 4 Sides of Liza!

...the problem was that there was a big gash across the shot of her mugging on the stool and I knew you would not approve of that.

I don't think Liza does dishes.

2:54 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

You shore do have lots of dishes.

2:51 PM


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