One Hour 'Til My Lunch Date

On Friday, my coworker explained to me how if there was an emergency, she'd absolutely save her children and husband before she'd help anyone else. "Isn't that normal?" she asked me. "To favor your husband and family, the people you love the most?" I told her yes, that it's natural selection at work. If there's a meat shortage, I told her that I expect she and her loved ones will cannibalize me. Not in a mean way - I was joking & she laughed. But in principle, the whole thing makes me sad.

I picked up a Saturday night shift at the bookstore. If my life gets any more lonely and sucky I'll see if I can pick up a Sunday shift, too, maybe. I dunno. Books & shelves cheer me up sometimes.

This morning I got up early to watch people run by in the Bay to Breakers marathon. I stood next to a man and his pregnant wife. They kept stepping on my feet & periodically the husband would remind people in the crowd to "be careful, pregnant lady!" I tried very hard to act like I was having fun while drunk guys pretended to fuck inflatable sheep, but I spent most of my time moving out of the way for groups of people and all of their best friends, or couples who were running together, or groups of couples cheering on their coupled friends.

Now I am at home, getting ready for a date. I don't want to go, and I'm in a bad mood.