I'm Not Dead Yet,

and that is the good news. I'm looking on the bright side, and wow!

But why, why am I so grateful to Jesus? To be honest, I am not grateful in the least. I am angry and bitter and full of pessimism and fear. Because this morning on the way back from the mechanic's, sporting an expensive new back bumper & taillight and so forth, guess what Jesus decided to do?!?!? He decided to get me in another accident, that's what! Yay! Yay! I've been rear-ended again! Hosannah!

Things are really sucking ass. I was too terrified to cross three lanes and turn left into a gas station, so the guy who hit me is gone & we did not get to exchange information. The repairs? No worries, guy-in-the-truck, it's on me! Maybe if you hit me again, which at this point seems pretty likely, I could take you out to Red Lobster or Hooters or wherever you'd like to go! It's okay, I'll drive! Yay! I spent the day at work saying nothing to anyone and pretending that I am a normal human being with a regular life and listening sympathetically to the things that bug other people - inconvenient reschedulings, computer slowness, etc etc.

At the end of the work day I was thinking that I really couldn't stand it any longer. But now I figure I can sink even lower and I'd still make it, which is wonderful, because what next? I know, maybe I'll be struck dead! No, that would be too easy. I'm sure Jesus will shove one or two weensy little screwdrivers into my eye before the month is over, and then it'll start raining lemon juice and I'll be without an umbrella and then I'll get hit by a bus - AND YET, I'LL STILL LIVE ON! Yay!!