This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Twenty (20?!?) Random Facts About Ing

I met Karen Littlewhen I first started blogging. She wan't big on blogging in the beginning, but now she has like twenty of them, and she writes fiendishly. I met her after I searched the blogs using the word "bookseller."

Karen tagged me with this thing where I have to post TWENTY random facts about myself. That's a lot of facts. She's already posted her own twenty, and she's glad they weren't all "medically inclined," since she's studying to be a doctor. Dogs love her, which is the sign of a very good person.

Karen has this cool friend, The Electric Orchid Hunter, an orchid geek who wants to learn to speak Zulu and who loves the works of Jane Austen.



Each of the men I've been close to throughout my life has been deeply afraid.


Each man was kind-hearted and wounded.


Each owned a firearm.


In October (was it?) I met Matty, who's a really brave guy, and a war hero!


(I lied about the war-hero part.)


Of the scared men I mentioned, one comes first in my mind.


He was a Private in this gnarly, fucked-up war.


The other scared men I knew had private wars.


I eschew private wars because I just don't believe in war as a way to solve conflicts, inner- or otherwise.


To believe so is insane.


It's like my grandpappy said: "You can't sweet-talk a squirrel with a hickory switch."


(Actually, he never said that.)


Every day I, myself, become a little less scared, and it's really exciting.


So even though I shouldn't be spending money, I think I'm going to get a bike rack for my car.


I want to go on a trip somewhere quiet where I can hear crickets at night and birds waking up in the morning.


I want to watch the sun set.


I want to see diamonds all across a body of water.


I want to run for miles on the edge of a cliff.


But here's what I need to know: do women have midlife crises, too?


And if so, does that mean I'll start losing my hair?


(I'm not really concerned about hair-loss, as my mother still has a fine head of it.)


Blogger matty said...

Oh, I love your list. You know, you really are a gifted writer. Sending a big hug to you. I hope the work day goes quickly!!!

11:51 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your list is interesting, but read like opinions about stuff rather than facts about you:

When I was three years old, I was caught eating a dog biscuit. That's one of fact about me.


3:58 PM

Blogger ing said...


I have Saturdays off, remember? Today was great, productive, lovely. I got up late, got tricked by the bus driver (a smartass!) went to a dance class, and then walked around the mission. You and B have to go to Al's Diner with us -- I think you will love it. Then I came home and weeded the garden and planted a lobelia. I hope it lives. All in all, a perfect day to be outside.



My opinions about stuff reveal the facts about me.

Did you really eat a dog biscuit? I'm just about to eat some Thai peanut noodle thingie. I have pink lilies on the table. Inedible, as far as I can tell.

7:07 PM

Blogger Me said...

"You can't sweet-talk a squirrel with a hickory switch."
I suddenly got an urge to put my gumboots on and go sit on the stump in front of my house and say this loudly to passersby. But the wind storm and driving rain are definite deterrents to doing this. Maybe tomorrow.

9:33 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got over here somehow.. Thinking it was Paul Bunyan but not really sure because I am lost. Can you help me find my way back home? Thank you!

11:13 PM

Blogger ing said...


Never wait until tomorrow! I would love to sit out in the rain, spouting nonsequitors to passersby.

The funny thing is, I generally don't realize that I'm spouting nonsequitors until someone else points this out to me. Ginab and Matty can read my mind or something.

Do they have stumps large enough to seat four on "the rock"? Let's have a rain-party. And afterwards, let's jump in some mud-puddles.



Second to the right and then straight on 'til morning.

(J.M. Barrie)

11:42 PM

Blogger ing said...


For some reason, I can't seem to post at your blog. It has something to do with the beta thing and the pop-up window thing.

Anyway, that story is awful. I've always been afraid of having children, because what if they don't love you?

12:54 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


Thanks for playing with... I loved your list!

The commenting thing is a problem that comes and goes - beta blogger really is a bit of a stuff up a lot of the time. I'll change back to the old non pop-up window though.

Anyway, thanks for all the nice things you said about me! Enjoy the rest of your weekend...

6:22 AM

Blogger matty said...

Oh, I thought you had to work this Saturday. You must have to work next?!?!?

What's Al's Dinner? I wanna go! Was Fonzi there? Is that how one spells "Fonzi"?

10:08 AM

Blogger josh williams said...

Thems alot of facts, I bet they are true, I bet.

11:33 AM

Blogger sage said...

I learned more about your ex's than you... but gained a few insights. Don't step too near to the cliff, but like you, I find appeal in running there.

7:21 PM

Blogger Sex, Lies and Myspace said...

I see demons all across the waters! Cool Blog!

7:26 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

But there's that one do with you having adorable pinky fingers. Did you leave this detail out deliberately?

oh no!

8:46 PM

Blogger Karyn said...

Crickets? Birds? Diamondesque water views?

Head east, young woman. I'm up to my drooping eyelids in all of the above.

...they all had firearms? Cause that would just creep me right out.

(And your kids have to love you. It's part of the gig. At least... for the first few years. And yeah. Midlife crises know no gender, although there is hair loss discrimination.)

5:21 AM

Blogger The Electric Orchid Hunter said...

Come to South Africa's Wild Coast for #14-#17. You will not find a more awe-inspiring place to have your midlife crisis in. What beautiful words you could write, looking out over the southern Indian Ocean.

Thanks for the link! And yeah, I'm pretty much the president of the SA Jane Austen Fan Club...

9:37 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

and children, you have children? I didn't know you had children, Ing.


10:47 AM

Blogger Ahva Rahn said...

Your post is very funny and sharp. I am not sure about the midlife crisis; I usually associate a failed one with the trifecta: Harley, Corvette and a divorce. Everything gets philosophical at a certain point and soul-searching struggles for answers, or you say sod the philosophy and buy some expensive toys. But the thick curtain is crossed by both male and female. What the hell’s it all about? I quite like it here on the other side (or is someone secretly feeding me crack?). I hope you know and realize your dreams, and what do I know, you might find them on a Harley FatBoy.

11:20 AM

Blogger ticharu said...

A groovy list. You know, if you come here next summer to help me build my Earth friendly domicile, you can hear crickets and a whole lot more! There are no city lights ruining the night sky and if you like smells, like plants and flowers, it's pretty amazing for that as well. Of course you'd have to put up with me and the brood for a couple days, and the work is like totally back breaking and dirty so as a vacation it might not rate real high, but I'd find it a trip for sure! Bring Matty and Gina!

6:34 PM

Blogger ing said...


Yello back! I will visit you, presently. I've slowed down a bit, anyway. I'm trying to work in the garden and exercise more. It takes up some time. . .



Ah, yes, Arthur Fonzarelli. "The Fonz." I don't know how to spell "Fonzi," but that looks right. I never thought he was all that cute. Chachi was kind of hot, though.

Oh, and Al's is on Mission, up the street from El Rio. But you don't know where Mission is. . . It's sort of halfway between your place and mine. You'll see. We MUST go there sometime.

I told everyone at work that I'm going out to see PORN on Wednesday night.


True, every last one.



Only one is an ex.

I will be very careful near the cliffs. I used to run in this town called Davenport, along a cliff that wound for miles and miles, overlooking a beach. Just beautiful. The edge of the cliff was rounded, so there wasn't much danger of accidentally stepping off. . . Someday, soon, I will go back there.


s, l, & m:

Demons?! Do you live near the Styx?



Ahh, yes, my adorable pinkies. Not good for much except crooking while I sip tea from my adorable cup.



East, you say? I think it would hurt me to leave the west, yet I'm afraid I'll have to sooner or later. The east is beautiful, but I don't like all that snow business. We'll see, though. Who knows. . .

And though I don't like firearms, I grew up in a place where firearms were extremely common. My father wore one to work every day. It never creeped me out, though in retrospect I think it's kind of interesting.

About kids -- I really don't know what all that motherhood stuff is like, but I imagine that after having been through a few years of being loved like that, the changeover would be awful.



Maybe I will, someday. There are so many places in the world I haven't seen!

We had wild orchids where I grew up. They were pretty rare and not very interesting to look at. They were these evil, hooded brown things that poked up out of the forest floor. I didn't know they were orchids until someone told me they were.

You have beautiful orchids growing wild in SA, yeah?



No children, that I know of . . . just a deep-down fear about the implications of having them & an aversion that's prevented me from having them.



Yes, philosophical. And what a great wish! I hope so too, but I'm quite positive that when I realize my dreams I will not be on a Harley. An island, perhaps, but not a Harley.

6:50 PM

Blogger ing said...


You snuck in while I was writing my comments!

Hee hee -- I'd like to see ginab and Matty building an earth-friendly home. They're both very hardworking, but I don't think they do backbreaking and dirty. Do you have Goldfrapp and Marbella out there?

How many kids do you have in your "brood?"

6:54 PM

Blogger John Sullivan said...

Very cool. I do want to get back to San Fran very soon.

I love the graphics on your site. Mine is more text driven.


7:13 PM

Blogger AndyW said...

A blogger benefit to help build Tich's earth friendly living quarters would be fun!

Who's bringing the rake and shovels?

10:03 AM

Blogger Bathroom Hippo said...


You're a brave woman not to be concerned about hair loss.

A brave woman!

11:49 AM

Blogger ticharu said...

I'll get some Goldfripp and Melwhatever no problem! 2 kids in the brood, yup, so maybe Andy is onto something eh?
We might not get a ton of work done but it would be a great party! Remember, there is safety in numbers... we have bear, but then Ing can smell bear so that shouldn't be a problem!

3:59 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

Counting to twenty would have impressed me, but you really went outside of the envelope or (onvelope) on this one...

8:51 PM

Blogger matty said...

I know a number 21!!! ....You are able to make the funniest voice I've ever heard. It deserves a great costume. You had me in tears tonight as you were talking to me and B in that voice! It's a talent!

And, I heard Gina's voice tonight! Yay!

11:21 PM

Blogger Bunyan, Paul Bunyan said...

I can never rember then names of all the numbers but give me an axe and boy /girl I can chop some wood!

7:48 PM

Blogger Anne-Marie said...

Ing, cool list.

I have seen the sunsets in your home city. They're lovely.

You can run along the cliffs of Dover(I had to relate something to the Who).

Yes, women do have midlife crises, and they can be the beginning of a wonderful new life. My hair is in fact longer and fuller than before the crisis.

I am curious about #9, mostly because I don't understand what you mean. Isn't to live an act of belief?

All I remember from the Mission area in August was that I ate some of the best Mexican food ever (although the 3 Amigos in HalfMoon Bay is still my alltime favourite) and that there were some neat looking clubs and restaurants that will have to wait for the next visit. March Break. And no snow.


9:51 AM

Blogger Me said...

The stump in front of my house is big enough to seat 6! I'm thinking of having some big sweaty logger cut it into a bench. I'll mix the drinks, you guys bring the rain slickers and those sou'easter hats. :)

11:37 AM

Blogger Dan L. said...

Interesting post, list and all...

If times were younger, and lives were different, I would have considered one as you as a most interesting prospect.

Alas, my wife discovered me, and my faults. She loves me, and accepts me. I love her, and have accepted her for almost 22 years of marriage and living together (living together only when married, and 26 years of knowing each other).

Be well, and keep on being true,

--Dan L.

11:05 PM

Blogger Mone said...

Yes, women do have a midlife crisis!!!
And yes, The hair falls out too, hahaha!

5:28 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Neat toenails!

Something I would never show, not my own! I suppose that's one random fact about mwa.

4:22 PM

Blogger ing said...


Thanks! I like pictures, though text is neat, too. The visuals help me understand what I'm saying.



I have a pocket knife, a kleinsman tool, a wire stripper (good for speakerwire, which is 16-guage or something), and some pink gardening gloves. That's all I have. But I can sure swing an ax!



I am daring enough to not worry about my prostate as well.



I can smell it from yards away!

And two kids?! Get on it, Ticharu! Provide us with a few more workers!



Poetic license, that's what I take. My math teachers did not understand. . .



I have plenty of voices I have not revealed. I hear them in my head, and I can emulate them. It's weird. They're the voices of my inner critics. And they all sound pretty ridiculous.



Did you just call me a boy/girl?



I don't know if this will clear up the confusion, but #9 is a comment on #8 -- I was hoping to say that it's insane to believe that war will solve problems.

To live as an act of belief? I guess I feel that to live is this thing that started with birth & that we are attached to and don't want to end because of our attachment. The desire to keep on living causes a lot of grief, since it's all very temporary.

The cliffs of Dover, though. Wouldn't that be a great run?



Sweaty-sexy, or sweaty-unbathed? Let's get this straight before we proceed. Because if he's the former, let's invite him & have a good view from our stump.


dan l.

You sound very happy, you lucky dog!



Ohgodreally? I want to keep my hair! Mine isn't thinning, but it's getting curlier. Which makes it look fuller, I think.



I will show them, willing, right after I've done them. But I will never let a pedicurist touch them! Ewww!

8:51 PM


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