This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Saturday, September 23, 2006

To All The Men In San Francisco

This is my last hurrah. I'm tired of holding my beautiful roommate's drink while she dances all night with you. Ask me to dance! I'm pretty good at it, so ask me!

I'm definitely not looking for a boyfriend right now. I'm not even looking for a date. To be honest, I've pretty much had it with men. I just want to dance my ass off. Think of it this way -- would you want your sister or coolest woman-friend to stand there all night watching someone else's ice cubes melt? I mean, would you permit that, knowing that she -- your sister or best female friend -- left her apartment full of hope after squaring her shoulders and smiling bravely into the mirror? Night after night, would you allow it, if you had the means to prevent it?

As for me, I purchased this particular dress


because smiling bravely at you just isn't working. Every woman has a girl inside of her, and every deep-down girl has a woman that contains her, and guess what? You, too, had a woman that once contained you, and whether you like it or not, she still contains you. And since you don't seem to approve when even my beautiful roommate asks you to dance, I'm counting on you men of San Francisco to do the asking.

But please, don't choose me at the end of the night because I look lonely enough to go home with you. I will never be that lonely. Choose me early, and choose me despite the dress. Choose me because you want to dance too, and because if every man in San Francisco danced with every woman in San Francisco, we'd need each other in ways that complete us, even if we choose to remain unattached. Let's not waste our lives any longer. Let's salsa.

LATER & AFTER


Okay, San Francisco dudes, do you see my smile? Thank you for asking me to dance, and thank you for respecting my boundaries and treating me with respect.



San Francisco, I love you with all of my heart.

36 Comments:

Blogger Ahva Rahn said...

i like the crystal ball you have in the first picture -so bright. you look magical.

paul (minimalist dancer)

9:37 AM

 
Blogger matty said...

WOW! You are so beautiful in those pictures!!!!

...and, um, you no longer have a rommate. You have your own apartment. Your former roommate and dear friend rents it to you!!! ...and, is that a sneak peak at it?!!!?

When do I get to see it?!?!!?

You look great, babe! Someone had better asked you to dance!!!! ...or, they are all idiots -- AT THAT CLUB!?!?! ...there are other places to hang in SF, you know!

10:02 AM

 
Blogger matty said...

Oh! d'oh! still waking up -- I just realized that you WERE asked to dance! Well, I should expext so!!!

love ya!

10:05 AM

 
Blogger Labbie said...

Whoa, Mama!!! I've just found my computer's next wallpaper... Kidding. You look grrrrreat, though!

11:53 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You look perfectly danceable, before and after; but you look happier after.

I love the dress, the shoes, your hair me dear. You're diamond bucks!

But I would say ask away. Don't wait for it. At least that's what I've been told. It's advice I've hear time and again.

Gotta run because I have so much grading to do, and I'm hungry, but I did work out. Hey!

xo-ginab

2:23 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

ahvarahn:

What does ahvarahn mean?

Anyway, the crystal ball isn't doing me much good so far. I've predicted nothing with accuracy. Instead, things have become more and more unpredictable as the days go by. So far so good.

_______________

Matty:

Yes, this is a sneak peek. You can see it anytime; just give me a day's notice, because I have become a slob. I did clean my bathroom this weekend, and it only took ten minutes. Still, though, I'd like to pick it up to the point where my mess is just a mess & not some depressing reminder that my mind is nowhere near my apartment.

YOU always look great. I wish all the men in San Francisco were half as beautiful as you. And at this point I'm not talking about the outside of you.

I have the perfect housewarming gift in mind, if it's still where I think it is. . .

________________

labster:

Why, thank you! It feels pretty neat to wear something sexy. Sometimes I feel sad, and when I feel sad I hide behind my clothes. This time I decided to bust out. It's funny, but I'm always afraid that if I dress up like this I'll attract the wrong kind of attention. It's something women put up with all the time, I guess. But I noticed that the men I danced with treated me more like a person once I dressed up. Hmmmm. . .

_________________

Ginab:

Much happier after, no doubt about it.

But here's how it was explained to me: the men in this club mostly come from a culture where it's not all right for the woman to do the asking. I'm not fond of this whole thing, but I figure that when in Rome --

Now eat! Eat like the wind! If I'm not a lazy lame-ass, I will work out tomorrow and I, too, will eat like the wind.

Thanks for being a friend, ginab.

10:27 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

Matty!!:

I meant a housewarming gift for you! I just realized that it sounded like I meant I had some gift all picked out and I wanted you to get it for me -- which reminds me, I've got to hang that painting you got me! Did you notice it in the photos?

10:31 PM

 
Blogger Metalchick said...

Sometimes you gotta ask the guys if they would like to dance.

11:42 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who lives in Rome here? Like I said, fuck'em, screw their mores. They're in the USA. Go to a different damn club, to boot. Just an idea, but to perpetuate first and second class roles based on sex is beans, is for the damn birds, and you know a sparrow bitch wouldn't stand for it. no bloody way.

I keep saying 'bloody' lately. hmm. I blame Avaharan. ;-)

5:39 AM

 
Blogger lryicsgrl said...

Yeah for San Fransico.....but how could it resist you???

You look like "da bomb", baby!

I have to admit, vainity, had me stuck on the opening sentence, to your last post. So, I showed my little one. She said, "awe Mom, she thinks your beautiful". Then, I showed her your picture, and she said, "awe, she is beautiful too, wow, there are lots of pretty ladies on your blog".....

And, now...what I do best....

I HOPE YOU DANCE
performed by Lee Ann Womack:

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)


Ah, you thought I would post David Bowie's LET'S DANCE, didn't you???

6:52 AM

 
Blogger AndyW said...

If I lived in S.F., was single and could dance I would ask you to dance.

But, I don't live in S.F., I'm not single and I can't dance.

My brother in-law lives in Ft. Bragg but I don't thing he can dance but he'd give it a try maybe.

Anyway, Ticharu and I are firing up the Frappe Dreamgate musical stew creation machine again. We're always looking for words, lyrics, poems, etc....

7:31 AM

 
Blogger Ahva Rahn said...

“What does Ahvarahn mean?”

this is probably a boring answer: i have two stepsons who i have known since their early teens; difficult years for communication, especially with the outsider. but they encouraged me to use instant messenger and tools like skype, so i could ‘talk’ to them during a working day (an opportunity to get to know them). i noticed they both had tolkienesque names and asked what they meant – they told me the names were just their unique online identities. so I created mine: ahva-rahn - it all sounds a bit bloody daft, I know, but there you have it ;)

maybe i should stick with the story of how he, Ahvarahn, was an important ancient celtic thingy-me-bob in me mother's lineage. perhaps.

as for the crystal ball, i am fond of the old unpredictability, so i am.

take care, keep dancin'

8:05 AM

 
Blogger matty said...

I was showing off the jewelry I got for you today! Everyone was jealous that it wasn't for them! Can't wait to give it to you on Wednesday night!!!!

Almost moved in! I think I will be done by end of this weekend!!!!

I got all my hair cut off. ...except the top.

I like it.

B sort of laughed when he saw it, but seems to like it now.

9:33 PM

 
Blogger ticharu said...

That's really great. I love nice little stories like that. I believe you are an extremely romantic person with high ideals and I hope never to offend you with my pessimism and visions of doom.
Have you ever read 'The Lucifer Principle'?

5:57 AM

 
Blogger ticharu said...

I just read Andy's comment.
Yes! Your contributions to Frappe last winter were highlights!
Maybe this year, I could send a piece of music, and you could write something inspired by the piece. Interested? I have a very wispy quiet intoverted piece of music I'm working on right now, but I could try for heavy metal or hip hop or maybe a power ballad like Aerosmith! :)

6:06 AM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

Was I not hobbled by an injury inccured during an act of anonymous heroism and had I the talent to begin with and lived in SF I would ask you dance...Darn tootin! Bunch of Bozos!

3:19 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

metachick:

I know, I know. It's hard. . . I don't want to do the wrong thing by asking, and I don't want to give the wrong impression. Because I do want to dance, but I don't know if I want to dance with a stranger who might get the wrong message because I asked him in the first place. These things are very tough to negotiate (for me). My instinct is to be kind, and that instinct is often misconstrued. Sometimes I even feel like men take advantage of it. And that feels pretty awful. Then there's the part, later, where they act offended because I asked and meant ONLY to dance and nothing more, when they want more. Sometimes men seem confused by me, or maybe they pretend to be because their pride has been hurt by my refusal to do anything besides dance. Ugh. I find that a good number of men confuse my asking them to dance with serious flirting. There's nothing I dislike more than making someone else feel bad. I wonder sometimes if people can sense my vulnerability on that point.

_______________

ginab:

I agree, and yet there are all these cultural mores. It's a huge conflict for me.

I guess it's very good practice, this tightrope I walk.

Salsa is a safe way of practicing for dating, and until I master the skills of dancing, I don't know if I'll be any good at dating. I would like to date, though. I'd like to someday meet someone like the guy Matt described. That is, someone who'll be my equal and who doesn't need me and who I don't depend on for everything. I'd like to feel a mutual neatness. As in, it sure feels neat to be around you.

________________

lyricsgirl:

I do have a pair of red shoes, but the heels are much too high for dancing. I love those lyrics you posted!

There's a plethora of pretty blogger ladies. What's up with that? I'm thinking prettiness has a lot to do with the willingness to share?

________________

andyw:

Aww, thanks! And rest assured, I would NEVER EVER cut in on a man who's dancing with his wife. No way! And since it's only dancing, maybe if she needed a rest she'd understand if you made a wallflower feel included for one song. I prefer not to dance very close, and I love the idea that we can all be friends with each other. At this point in my life, my friends have been the most trustworthy and reliable people on the planet.

________________

avarahn:

Your fondness for unpredictability -- I wonder if that's your inner hobbit speaking. Me, I like nice surprises. I'm not so fond of the big bloody splatters that life deals out. (My own use of "bloody," here, is not an oath, as you and ginab use it.)

__________________

Matty:

You look like a little boy with your cute new haircut. And that blazer you wore tonight -- tres cool! But why did you shave off your mustache?

The jewelry you got me topped all the diamonds and pearls I've received from my many suitors. It's just too lovely to wear, though I do think I'd look pretty festive on the Fourth of July if I wore it with the U.S. flag muu muu I just purchased. Since the jewels are too heavy and my neck and shoulders are weak, I hope you don't mind if I leave it hanging from my rearview mirror for the time being. I know I'm just asking for someone to break into my car -- that's my only concern. Soon I will post a picture of it so that all the world will be jealous of me.

If only I had matching earrings. . . (that's a hint to my pursuers).

______________

Ticharu:

I haven't read it, but I've heard of it. . . and I'm very hard to offend. Please don't believe for a second that you offended me. I think you're one of the good people. I saw a movie tonight that frightened and disturbed me, but I loved it.

Send me something quiet and wispy! I'll write some romantic & idealistic lyrics!! (Yes, that's me. Though I'm pretty in touch with my darker side, too.)

_______________

Josh:

Are you talking about the time you rescued the blind kitten? The one that was nearly smashed by the train & later went on to become a firefighter? That was awesome.

I did some research & found the article about it in what I believe is the national newspaper of Indiana. Wow! I knew you were a hero, but I didn't know the extent of it.

You don't need to dance. Your presence in the dancehall of my heart is worth a thousand dances.

11:04 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Me too, somewhat, on neatness. That kind of junior high ease about paling around. I miss it. I miss someone's eyes on me too, someone discovering me, someone tho (miracle of flukes) strong or I don't know, something-enough to realize I'm discovering him too, and that he wouldn't want me to find him as so many have found me: _____________.

The experience, if it were to happen to him, would kill him by his own hands around his own neck, and stab his temples, and keep him awake and awake and half-alive for years, but deny him from being able to feel so that he wouldn't be able to pen emotions for his characters should he even write. And all that education: worth a pinto bean.

6:29 AM

 
Blogger sage said...

I never waited till the end of the night to ask hoping for something more--it was that it just that much time to get enough alcohol in me to get up the nerve! You make that dress look good (not the other way around).

1:48 PM

 
Blogger ticharu said...

I often worry that I offend people, it doesn't really change me though, I am who I is. I've just got all this useless information roiling about in my head and sometimes feel the need to spew. Like the bit about males being expendable, male fish, male lions, male chimpanzees. Funny really.
The Lucifer Principle is one of those books that will fill your head with useless information but it's all very interesting if you like interesting useless information that you can trot out in party situations or on first dates!
I'll get that piece of music together over the weekend and try to get it to you by Monday.

6:13 PM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

that was me ing.I try not to brag, but I thought I had to explain. The only gain for services rendered was a lifetime subscription to Cat Fancy, gratis. Had I to do it all over again I would have done the same thing again even without this reward of Cat Fancy.
Thanks JW

7:33 PM

 
Blogger Mone said...

I miss San Francisco with all my heart!!

I'm glad you had a good dance! Life is to short not to dance :)

2:10 AM

 
Blogger matty said...

I think I loved it most when you put on that gorgeous necklace I picked up for you. I know, that to the folks walking by, it appeared you were in a state of horror -- but I know it was a state of pure bliss at having been given something so lovely! AND, it's made of wood! Anyway, I agree. I think it best to share it with the world from your rearview mirror has you drive about the Bay Area.

Oh, and, honey. I've never had a mustache. Are you OK? You're ---- scaring me!!!!! Now. Where did I put those picture of us when we visited Bali?

6:26 AM

 
Blogger Bunyan, Paul Bunyan said...

They are making up lies about my hero over at my mule. Josh Williams saved my life, I cannot believe the lies!

2:26 PM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

Bunyan, they aint lies...I am so ashamed.

8:29 PM

 
Blogger Le Chitelier said...

oooo salsa!
I need to get out and do summa dat!

11:11 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

26 yarns....

So busy am I this Saturday night, I listened to A Prarie Home Companion which featured Misoula (sp). Sounded like an entertaining place. Something about the river coming undammed made the audience hoot. Otherwise, hmm, I wonder about M. MT. Cowboys, straight ones, in their gear? I wonder: do they all spit baccy?

6:00 PM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

ing do you realize you have people coming back from the other side of the light because of your photos? See Le Chitelier , dang thats some power you gotz. JW

3:15 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

ginab:

That feeling you mention -- that'll numb him down before the surgery.

You, however, don't need any surgery. You just need patience. It'll get better, it will. If I'm wrong, I've got my own hands around my neck. But breathing gets easier every day, even if my writing doesn't please me (yet?).

_____________

Sage:

Nobody ever said it so sweetly. Of course you weren't expecting. You're one of the good ones.

_____________

Ticharu:

I, too, have lots of useless information. I wanted to spill a teensy bit this evening, on a first date. But he (the date) ended up being one of those men who talks and talks and doesn't listen. Musicians know how to listen. He's a systems analyst, and I said a kind good night to him.

I figure that as long as you mean no harm, there isn't any harm in being who you is. So try not to worry (easier said than done, but). Nice people are pretty open-minded, or at least that's how it's been for me.

I'll look for your email.

_____________

JWW:

CAT FANCY?!?!?! You must have done a series of good deeds in a series of past lives & have recently appeared in the dreams of The Dalai Lama.

Are you acquainted with the works of Neal Pollack?

_____________

Mone:

So right -- life is too short.

______________

Matty:

Pictures? What pictures?

My look of bliss is, yes, indistinguishable from my look of horror. I have become Bela Lugosi. All because of the beautiful necklace. Added bonus: with it dangling from my rearview, I've noticed that nobody tailgates me. I also find myself strangely compelled to reach up for it, as from a crib in a nursery, grasping with my infant fingers.

____________

Buns:

LIES? At My Mule?! I don't think that's accurate, but I will check.

____________

JWW:

You have nothing to be ashamed of except for the shadow of your greatness. It prevents the little flowers from growing.

______________

Le chit:

Do dat, den! It's good for the old hips.

______________

ginab:

Ugh, baccy. My father did.

I've heard only good things about Missoula, but I also hear it takes bucks to live there. Montana is loverly.

__________

Josh:

I draw them like flies without meaning to. It was only a matter of time before Le Chit arose from his grave.

11:00 PM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

Neal Pollack. Nope...I laugh.

6:06 PM

 
Blogger Metalchick said...

Thanks for your response, it is unfortunate that some men do get the wrong impression when a woman asks them to dance.I think it depends on where you are when dancing, like if you're at a dance club everyone wants to dance, but a bar is a different story.

12:21 PM

 
Blogger sage said...

well, I'm not that good... just hanging out waiting for another post

7:53 AM

 
Blogger sage said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:53 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow Ing you are "smoke'n hawt" ! You and that dress are made for each other .

You looked like you lost ten pounds on that dance floor . Hope ya had a good time and hope ya have plenty more .

More pictures please ?

9:50 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

P.S. Your hair looks great too !

9:52 PM

 
Blogger neilbymouth said...

Hello, im new here-

bloody hell!!

thats my opinion

4:34 PM

 

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