Things I Haven't Been Asked To Do

I have things that I guess I should be doing, but today I'll continue to do only those things I haven't been asked to do, like looking into store windows and drinking tea in cafés.

Right now I'm at this place on Haight called Café International. The barristas were nice enough to provide me with an extension cord so I could sit out here, on this funny little patio, squished between two very tall buildings. If I look up, I see a small patch of sky, and from one of the apartments above me I can hear angry shouts. There's a man standing out on his fire escape, speaking Chinese into his cell phone.

Today I managed to mail off my mother's present on time. Matty helped me pick out the card — the most expensive one in the store. On the front is a pair of origami slippers. About the present: it's a secret. Yes, it's a book. That's all I'm going to tell you.

On my way to mail off my mother's present I cut through Dubose Park, where, at the bottom of a rolling grassy hill, I saw a circle of people chanting and clapping their hands while at the head of the circle, three men played instruments I'd never seen before. At the center of the circle, two people kicked, flipped, and rolled. From a distance they appeared to be fighting, and this alarmed me. I've always been repelled by people who cheer on a fight rather than try to prevent it.

But when I got in closer and figured out that they were performing a choreographed dance. I felt drawn to the sight, and I think I was happy. Yes, I was happy.



I'm trying very hard to allow myself the space to think. Lately, I haven't been too sure in my thoughts. That is, if you asked me what I think, I would probably give a very long answer that changes directions many times during the course of it. Lately, conversation has been difficult and I feel this disconnect. I hope next week is different.