Okay, okay, okay,
I know that I'm a bit sensitive and not very adaptable and that's simply uncool.
Still, though, today I found myself sort of jonesing weepishly over my old job, where I could listen to whatever music I wanted to listen to and discuss it with other people who generally liked it, too. I mean, I tended to have interactions. At the bookstore, my coworkers liked to joke around and talk about current events and art and the stuff that was going on in their lives.
At my new job, everyone's pretty busy. And you know what? It's no fun being the new person. I say hi in the morning and when people don't bother to look up, when their reply is obligatory-sounding to me, I get sad. I understand that the majority of the questions I have, as the newbie, are annoyingly simple to those who've been around for a while. I try very hard to save up my questions or to figure things out on my own or to distribute my questions evenly so that I'm not bugging one person in particular.
But I guess I get really bummed when I'm talking about my weekend or welcoming someone back from vacation or complimenting their blouse and I get this feeling that even with this, I'm being an awful pest.
I do know that I have to be patient, and that I'll wind up adjusting. I know that I have to keep pushing on.
When I came home tonight, I was so thankful that I remain in San Francisco. At least I have this city. 
posted by 
ing at 9:36 PM
18 Comments:
You're one of the most likable people I've ever met, Ing.
The world will come around.
3:27 AM
yeah, you should reduce expectations this early. give it a chance. they'll come round. in six months these folk will be saying, “oh yeah, i remember, you joined when i was freaking out over filing my taxes,” or “my ex was demanding custody of the cat and the joni mitchell blue album.” you’ll see. it ain’t you, hon. i wouldn’t blog too much about work also; let's talk about current events and art and stuff and carrie white quotes. did you get your skates?
4:50 AM
wow! what a building!
flags pronouncing what area we're in always crack me up. every city has them as though flags raised here can make everyone feel better or even cool and interesting for where they're standing: old town district; downtown k-zoo. it's poop. I would like to see poopville pronounced on a flag. you can wave it then above some heads of doom.
doom believes work is work with mustard on it and some onions. it pays, nothing is forever, panic bespells fear, you stack up, maybe wear an ipod, of course it's different...i feel like a parent!
one that's finally sleeping. I cracked the smoking habit and now I sleep. I'm grateful.
be glad you are where you are. enjoy your city! get to know other presses, ones where they discuss stuff that matters. and in time....but until, as I said before...because you want to be easy on yourself in environs where no one else will think to be (they're not thinking is all. they could be eaten by Terence Stamp!).
-ginab xo
5:49 AM
Oh, just smile and wave -- be the woman of mystery. Soon, they will flock to you to learn the mystical ways of your city. Being the new kid on the block is always tough! You'll get it and folks will warm up! Hang tight!
And, as Gina points out -- just enjoy your city!
I think those signs are funny, too. But, I'm relieved we have them otherwise I might not know where I am.
"Ing. Let's see. OK. We are in -- yes, we are in The Sunset area!"
...I don't wanna be eaten by Terrance Stamp!
6:56 AM
As someone who starts a new job every few weeks (not because I'm crap, but because I contract) I know how you feel.
Sometimes it does feel as if you're a second-class person, a pest, an annoyance. But that will go.
There is that one person to whom all new people find themselves with in a room somewhere, that someone who says: hello, I'm [insert name], you must be Ingrid. How are you getting on? Any questions?
Hang on in there. Don't let the buggers get you down, they probably don't realise how they're coming across.
Of course, they could be arseholes (assholes as you probably say) and not worth your time, but I doubt that you'd choose to work with people that weren't amenable.
It could be one of those month's and as the year progresses, people will see the many skills you bring to the job and by Christmas you'll be running the place.
As for your city, that is what makes me smile every single day I'm alive: my city. For me it's London, but if I was living in SF then it would be SF.
No one can take that away from you.
purplesimon out...
7:51 AM
I guess it's hard to step into a new environment and feel welcome straight away.
I'm sure you'll crack the code.
8:25 AM
I like the mytery approach, leave them wanting more...
12:25 PM
Ed:
HIYA!!
That's an awfully sweet thing to say, and it means a lot to me, so thanks.
Now why aren't you in grad school yet?!
________________
avarahn:
That's what I have to do, I know -- I have to reserve my judgment. Because just today I had a great day at work. We had this thing called a "placement meeting" and I spoke up a few times, sort of audaciously, and nobody seemed to mind it too much.
Yes, I'll stop ranting about work. The current events (shootings) are sort of depressing today, so let's get back to the lovely Carrie White. I DID get my skates, I DID, as you can see right here, on Matty's noble site, where he humbly pretends that he can't skate and that I'm totally perfect. He does not mention how I fell and broke my ass. What a friend! I double my vow to love him 4-eva.
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ginab:
Buildingssssses. They're just super close together here.
Yes, the flag thing is a little pompous/falsely triumphant/horn-tootling. I didn't think of that until you pointed it out, and I had to laugh. But I've always loved these little city/big town kinda places. Seattle was also divided into neighborhoods. Though I don't remember signs. I guess the sign thing is left over from the whole voting-district idea.
It does make me feel cool to say that I live in "the Haight," though I'm about fifteen years too old for this neighborhood. Unless I want to develop a severe drug habit, in which case I might be just a weensy bit young. Maybe not according to the older-junky-type I seem to attract, but.
Doesn't the poopville sign, dear ginafriend, belong proudly above the commode?
Work is work, but I think I managed to find work that's meaningful to me. It's just that I've been trying extra hard to stay on top of things, and I'm still very much in the catching-up stage. I did talk to one of my coworkers this morning about a cookbook he wants to propose by a really cool band (whose name I better not mention just yet, just in case). And he knows them and I know who they are, and I loved the idea, so things will be neato.
In the meantime, I need to visit Tina at the old bookstore and watch out for that horrible Terence Stamp, as he seems to be eating everyone in the family.
________________
Matty:
That's what I'm doing; smiling and waving. Tomorrow I may put up my Chuck Close poster and your baby picture and maybe Goldfrapp, too. That'll create a stir.
I'm with you on being lost here. This place is soooo confusing! I'll tell you more later, but I did get hopelessly lost this evening. But I didn't panic. All was well. Colma remains Colma and I have nothing to do with it.
Oh, and Terence Stamp called. He wanted to know your address, so I told him. I hope that's all right. . .
I told him you sleep on the right side of the bed. Just a guess. We'll all know the answer in the morning.
______________
purps:
I've met a few good people along the way, for sure. And I'm always grateful to be asked how I'm doing. Just being asked makes me feel as though I'm doing just fine. You know?
Some day I'm going to visit London. Ginab has told me all about it, and I'm just dying to go. Ginab, now that I have the kind of job that makes it possible for me to go to London, maybe you could consider showing me around?
And purps, if I really do go, you know that I'll hope to introduce myself to you and the wife. . .
________________
winters:
I will. I'm just kind of self-critical. I have to fight that all the time.
_________________
josh:
As you know, whatever you say, goes! I respect your opinion, whether it's a book-review-kind-of-thing or a money-making scheme or just you kind and regardful input.
But I do wish you'd get those adenoids worked on.
7:51 PM
Oops! The link to Matty's site doesn't work. Ummm, click on "*I Smell Bear" at the top of this page, check out the links in my sidebar, and under "Blogs," click on Matty. You'll find us in the article entitled "A Roller Disco Failure."
7:55 PM
Oh dear! No, I sleep on the left side of the bed.
..or, I guess that depends upon if you're facing the bed or are standing in front of it looking at my framed photos of Barbra.
Well, better that I attempt to take Terrance down. I think I am a bit more of a fighter than B! No one is hurting my B!!!
I'm not a scared of Terrance anyway!
Oh, will you take Carrie White to the prom? Pretty please?!!?!?
...did you de-link me? moi?
8:52 PM
I know exactly what you are talking about, that city is picking your mood up no matter how sad/bad you feel. I hope so much that I'll be back one day!
3:42 AM
Only the unthinking could be eaten by the devil, my dear.
I had an inbox once a time ago and by the end of each day the puppy was empty. Now, my inbox is my entire work desk and the surface resembles blown woods. I don't care nothing gets finished. Nothing that's not important and so forth, as projects pop up and priorities shift and yowza I am in a perpetual state of learning and learning over again. I think that's the norm. So to expect something else, well, surprise! You'll get the wind in your sails. At least "cool" is on board for you.
I like the AK press myself. Neat veggie cook books all the buzz. And an herb one to explain exactly what they do. Too bad I don't have $100 to blow. Hmm. Seems counter, to splash the AK with fat cash.
What is the world coming to?
I ask.
-ginab
6:32 AM
Matty:
I'm always, always speaking to you from the vantabge that gives me the clearest view of Barbra. She's your "backlighting". Very flattering.
I am scared of Terrence Stamp. Very scared. But sure, I'll take Carrie White to the prom. Seems harmless enough.
_______________
mone:
This city does it all! Though lately, I've been a bit too busy to enjoy it. Except for last Sunday. I had a blast in Golden Gate Park. This coming weekend, I'm going to do things a little differently! This weekend, I'm going OUT!
_________________
ginab:
My desk is soooooo messy! As of right now, I'm relying very heavily on post-it notes. They help me to remember things and capture ideas. And I find that if I print every email I receive from an author and file it away, I have a much easier time keeping track of stuff.
I've done the initial hard work on my first book, and now I'm starting a second one, which I need to have ready by this time next week. It's all going very quickly. Whew!
What's AK press?
We get lots of cookbooks at work, and sometimes I get to take one home for free. . . Perks!!
6:43 PM
cool rollerdiscoboogie pics - they have even got speed blur.
cant work out your meez character. i suspect it might be yoga, but can't help feeling she's pleading to go #1's in the restroom.
9:28 PM
Avarahn:
My Meez is doing the eagle pose, a balancing pose, wonderful for the circulatory system and the digestive tract. It centers you, clears your mind, and reassures.
What you describe sounds more like self-restraint and pleading. Yoga is about health, and health is the greatest gift.
(I need to do more yoga!)
10:20 PM
It sounds like I could benefit from some serious yoga. One of these days I will get round to it.
Namaste,
Paul
4:46 AM
I had seven adnoids removed when I was a wee lad. I just returned from a check up, apparently they grew back, how did you know?
8:44 PM
Ok, then. But just remember --- no funny business! I can stop you and from hurting Carrie!
Sue? What are you doing? What are you doing, Sue?
oh, my head hurts. Is this 1976?
6:32 AM
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