This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

How I Came To Terms With My Diamonds

Diamonds belong in the ground, not on a throat or a finger. To procure them, Western countries exploit The Congo, just as Belgium exploited The Congo for years and years. So much blood shed over a rock that, when cut, looks pretty bloodless; in my opinion, the most beautiful diamonds live on top of a moonlit river or out past the moon.

Tonight I dumped my suitcase of diamond jewelry into the sink and turned on the disposal. Afterwards, I had a thought: if stainless steel blades can pulverize them, these diamonds weren't real to begin with.


Blogger matty said...

You had a suitcase of diamonds and you destroyed them. However, I don't think real diamonds could be destroyed like that. I don't think so.

I do so love the romance of it, but we could have lugged your luggage to Fashion Express and made some money so you could buy more cool shoes!!!!


You know, Ms. Liz Taylor would NEVER behave this way. Miss Judy Collins would, however. I love Judy Collins despiter her perfect diction.

No diamonds for Judy. ...or, for Ing!?!?!?

Say it isn't so!

10:32 AM

Blogger Me said...

No, but it's the thought that counts.
I'm with you sister. Diamonds belong in the ground!
Although Matty's idea to trade them in for shoes sounds pretty good too.

12:42 PM

Blogger sage said...

yeah, in the hardness scale used by geologist, diamonds are a number 10, the can scratch any rock.

Diamonds and oil, both bring great wealth to a few while creating all kinds of social chaos for the masses.

My favorite diamonds are found in snow, on a cold moonlighted night

2:48 PM

Blogger ginab said...

You know how I feel about diamonds. And all that glitters turns to gold. The moon's mist is a cold desert wind.

Cannot wait for the gray skies to go away, for the water to return crystal-like glass-cut. Damnit, in other words, it's winter. Even Texas is freezing.

Time I fetched the laundry from the basement. It's Saturday night!


6:23 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

Debeers (sp) and their control of the diamond market, not to mention the familys that are destroyed, in the meanest way, blood guns and steel.The market is manipulated and truth be told I have lost a girlfriend from the past when I refused to buy her a diamond, I suggested we research gems, which she did not understand that diamonds are the civilized worlds worst friend. So I move on, but there is not a person in the world I would buy a worthless diamond for, I am not a fool nor am I going to take part in the blood letting for DeBeers. Happy New Year JW

10:21 PM

Blogger Vesper said...

i never really liked diamonds. they're kinda boring in my opinion.

12:58 PM

Blogger Vesper said...


12:58 PM

Blogger ticharu said...

Cell phones come from an exploitation of certain minerals obtained the same way, also from Africa. Add cell phones to the list and happy new year!

2:49 PM

Blogger ginab said...

happy new year!!! sooner for me I know, but hey...Australia is already asleep into new years day!

eat some black-eyed peas! and otherwise I'll eat some for you. think: prosperity!


3:49 PM

Blogger matty said...

Ing! Happy New Year!!! ...I hope you're still dancing the night away and the new day in!


1:22 AM

Blogger AhvaRahn said...

water is much more valuable.

health and happiness to you ing, and hearts instead of diamonds this year.


8:02 PM

Blogger purplesimon said...

Diamonds are not forever. They are ugly and the average person in the street wouldn't know the difference between a quality and an inferior diamond.

My wife also hates diamonds and so when she had her engagement ring we chose a moonstone, as that has more beauty each time we look at it.

Also, it's well documented that certain companies procure their diamonds in a, how shall I put it? naughty way. Or something.

Lawyers, I have no money.

Or a blog. So leave me alone. Don't sue me

Back to diamonds. I hate them.

Did I mention that?

purplesimon out...

10:10 AM

Blogger matty said...

I don't know. I like diamonds. They shine both in and out of lights, are pretty, seem to be of some relation to glitter and sparkling lights so they make me happy. And, Lucy used to like to float in a sky full of them., I like them.

But, I like the idea of pretty shiney things being in the ocean or in the dirt. ...not really on someone's neck, finger or hair.

But, still. I don't judge. At least not out loud.

Ing, next time the hot men start tossing diamonds at you just give them to me. I know how to turn that into cash for hair or skin products!

8:39 AM

Blogger Amit said...

Found ya!

You really ought to give diCaprio a reprieve and watch his "blood diamond" if nothing then for the half dozen or so jabs he pontificates at a deBeers namesake.

I think the term "conflict diamonds" ought to win oxymoron of the year! Or is it a tounge in cheek reflection on fate of some marriages? Bah!

Shoes! good idea. "Shoes are forever".

7:29 PM

Blogger ing said...


Judy Collins is a sweet-tempered version of Martha Stewart. She performed on The Muppet Show. I think she's had more plastic surgery than Martha, but she comes across as a super-nice hippy.

D'you know why Liz Taylor rode sidesaddle in National Velvet, Matty? Do you?



I'd trade them all for some soft grass.



On the hardness scale, geologists have lately determined that my head is a number 3. I guess that means it would be dangerous for me to put on my beautiful diamond tiara.



Get thee to New Orleans! You belong there. Please move into a place that has at least one chandelier and a painted porch. I'll babysit Bea Bea any time you like.



Really? Because Beck said that he would buy a diamond for me, if a diamond was what I truly wanted when I looked down deep inside myself. Wasn't that sweet? I guess that's why we're still together, here on our organic farm. Beck looks really cute in his overalls.



Yes, and Happy back! What did you do?



They come in pretty handy when you're a single gal alone in the city. Diamonds, that is. I sold one for five year's worth of groceries and a donation to the Y.M.C.A.



As you now know, I ate nothing but air. What does that signify? Am I going to be in poverty next year? I'm so mad at her!



When you were typing that, were you, by chance, sitting in your massage chair, listening to Gwen Stefani?


ahvarahn (Paul):

That's very true about the water. In the coming year your well will always be full.



Oh, yes, well I agree about the average person. I can myself differentiate between a fourteen- and an eighteen-karat diamond from across a dimly-lit piano bar. This skill comes in handy when I'm busy sizing up a room, which I always do, from the entryway.



Sometimes your gayness astounds me. Did I ever tell you that you give great advice?



Well, that's a relief.

In Blood Diamonds, does Mr. DiCaprio point forcefully down at the deck of a ship each time he makes one of his jabs?

I think you might be an Edward Albee fan. . .

Did I tell you that I own a pair of bejeweled sandals? Because I do. They remind me of my grandmother's sandals.

Aiight. 'Night.

10:24 PM

Blogger ing said...

And one more thing, Amit: I'm looking forward to meeting you!

4:46 PM

Blogger matty said...

Ing, no. I don't know why Liz rode side sattle in Ntl Velvet. ...I tend to focus on camp Liz -- you know the Richard Burton years. But, please, tell. I'm guessing it is not because she was a little lady.

Why, yes! I was listening to Gwenie! However, I was not in the vibro-chair.

...I was dancing.

I was born to dance!

6:40 PM

Blogger matty said...

I bet that Judy Collins is a nice hippy. Has she had surgery or do you think she might have slipped, caught her facial skin on a nail and it moved it all up., a whole lot?

Hippies should not shoot animals or have plastic surgery.

Just an opinion.

6:42 PM


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