Grinchin'
Blah.
Blahbitty, blah blah blah.
Everyone's been extremely nice to me this season. People have thrown parties for me, I've received tons of gifts, I'm living healthier, and I'm getting more sleep. My job is a dream. Never before have things been this good. I've received so many phone calls, emails, and invitations I can't keep up with the replies.
Why, then, do I feel like this?: 
When I used to get all caught up in myself, my ex-boyfriend would call me "problem-child". He used to make me laugh, though he was a bit of a problem child himself. I've been listening to the news and reading The New Yorker. Maybe it's the underlying problems that are getting to me now. 
Or maybe it's just the holidays. I used to think this "holiday stress" thing was just an excuse for people to be mean because they have to be on their best behavior at Christmas. Maybe I still do. 
Normally, when I find that I'm at my worst I strive to counteract it. But this year, I'm trying to grow into a whole new person. This year I'm going to indulge myself a bit, and see where that gets me. Let's tell it like it is this year! Let's get back at that department store Santa, that stranger who once dragged us into his lap while our mothers encouraged it! The bad aftershave, the creepy overgrown beard, the false promises, the midnight break-in, the threat of stick and coal.
Christmas -- bah!
Tell me something: when you're in a bad mood, what's your favorite way to wallow in it for a while? Give me some exercises, and I'll try 'em out. I'm dying to see what will happen if I let myself be crabby. 
Guess what movie I plan to rent next?
posted by 
ing at 11:38 PM
18 Comments:
Hopefully luck will turn you and everyone around. You seem to think you have no excuses to feel the way that you do. Or reasons, maybe they're reasons. But I'm guessing too much is too much, with your need to hole up and stare at your feet. A need of course is a reason.
On movies? The Grinch who stole?
-ginab
12:34 AM
Yep, that's the movie. Ginab, when you're feeling crabby, what's your favorite way to indulge?
12:46 AM
Um, crying? Not sure I ever indulge tho except I finally watched a movie the other night, without a pile of papers to evaluate, and now for some reason--related to a storm we had--I'm cut off from emailing my class so...indulging I am right now at 4:52 AM by writing to you here, fresh outside of a story by Oliver Broudy.
I think he lives in San Fran.
Oh, and my mom's husband had a stroke and then she's decided, about to turn 69, "presents are for kids really." I'm thinking she's about to indulge in doom-slaying. ;-)
1:55 AM
Gee. I don't think I'm really very moody. When I'm in a bad mood --- as in "stressed out/anger-like" mood I will either write in my journal about it or listen to music that calms me. I try very hard to not ever take it out on anyone (including myself) ...but I don't always succeed -- but I don't usually fail. Tho, I failed at work several times during the Turkey Day week. ugh.
A therapist and an ex once told me that I had issues around "anger" and that I would be healthier if I got "mad" more often. I don't know. I don't like to use my time with people I care about being angry or mad if I can help it. Life's too damn short.
But, sometimes -- we've got to get mad.
I once threw a tennis ball against a wall in the middle of a nasty break up. I was by myself. That felt good.
You could always watch AUDITION. ...just promise not to re-create any of those scenes!
Or, you could watch MEET ME IN ST LOUIS -- where that bi-bolar little girl tears up Christmas only to be comforted by a singing Judy Garland -- who takes that little girl's angry moment and turns it into a weeping melodrama --- then 50 years later we all think it's a happy little Christmas song.
Hmmm...
"...have yourself a merry little Christmas"
Feel better, pretty problem child! Smile and be happy! You're going to meet The Who! yay!
2:25 AM
I'd rent "Bad Santa", eat swiss chocolate, then have a sleep.
6:15 AM
Hey Matty--I must chime in--when I was young[er] I threw a coffee table. I like the tennis ball. Nothing quite like defeat bouncing upon bounce-bounce. But too I don't know if I've ever felt crabby or for the matter as though I know what it means to indulge in something.
So Ing,
I'm thinking I seek solace from places, in books, in the sound of laughter, in the faces of friends, in my dog--the bitch-gotta-love-her. I'm not sure I do indulge unless the expense of going to places, buying the books, paying for the sound of laughter, going to see friends, and making sure the dog eats is in some way self-indulgent. Sometimes I check my tits stand pert but still, it's not for me I want to prove they wait.
No such thing as indulging in the middle west.
'Cept, I bought a skirt the other day: $21! You could make it. Seriously. Charge $26 a pop!
-ginab
6:55 AM
Maybe lash out at another blogger, one not named Josh...
7:27 AM
Turn that frown upside down probably wont work either.
12:27 PM
Ginab:
Doom-slaying?! Noooo! Presents are for everyone. I hope everyone likes what I got them -- and I really, really hope people know better than to spend lots of money. No! I just like opening things.
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Matty:
You tend to take it out on yourself by neglecting stuff like eating. I think I'll watch this Audition thing, and maybe I could work out. The Judy Garland thing might have too happy of an ending, and that might make me more cynical. I want to indulge in a way that PREVENTS me from acting like a crabby jerk around my favorite people. (Namely you, since we've been spending lots of time with each other. I'd be so mad at myself if I was crabby all the time around you, but sometimes it's hard to turn it off. So I thought I'd give myself some crabby time in some other way.)
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avarahn:
Mmmm, chocolate. I'll try Bad Santa, too. Don't seem to have much trouble sleeping. But I do too much.
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ginab:
Oh, I want to indulge my negative feelings so that when I'm out with friends I can be more calm and sweet. I'm being too selfish, and little things are ticking me off. Like today: I hurt myself at work and had to drive to the hospital (nothing serious). On my way there, I stopped at an intersection to let a well-dressed woman cross the street. She was carrying some heavy bags. I waved her through and she made a sour face at me, like I was stupid for waiting?! I wanted to roll down my window and yell "YOU'RE WELCOME!!" or "HEY, I'M ON MY WAY TO THE HOSPITAL, BUT I STOPPED JUST FOR YOU!!"
Arrgh!
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Josh:
I would never lash out at you, of all people. Unless you told me to turn my frown upside down. Then I might get a little testy.
Or not. After all, it's you who said it.
5:34 PM
If I'm in a crabby mood, I like to be by myself, listen to music and sleep. After another good sleep the world just looks better.
11:48 PM
Mone:
Amen. I had a great one last night. But for some reason, I'm still tired. Maybe it's my imagination. I have a big day tomorrow, so early to bed!
4:18 PM
my nose is stuffed!
oops, there's packing! and yes the glamor of doing dishes.
-ginab
7:37 PM
Well, if I'm angry I just utter a string of curses a mile wide and spew the blackness into the void.
If I'm just depressed I figure that's just chemical imbalance, need more sunshine, vitamin C or some such. Failing that there is always sex! Failing that there is always drugs! Failing that there is always suicide! By then someone has usually managed to make me laugh, which is probably all I needed anyway! :)
6:27 AM
THE WHO! WHOOO WHO!
WHO ARE YOU?
WHO?
WHO THE (bleep) ARE YOU?
WHO'S FIRST?
WHO!!!!!!!
8:57 PM
bad mood--go for a walk or to the gym... it sure beats hitting the bottle, the wall, or someone or something else.
A neat collection of pictures...
10:57 AM
hello Ingy. Keep your feet up. I'm about to stand and deliver one last time.
Must pee first (must always pee first).
-ginab
2:40 PM
When I am feeling crabby, I tell people how I feel about them... Or I'll lose my sense of tact altogether. So don't do anything stupid around me when I'm crabby... I'll make you feel puny and insignificant, like whatever got me that way.
Merry Christmas, Ing!
8:55 PM
ginab:
I hope by now you're feeling much better! I really do. You looked absolutely great the night I saw you, and I couldn't tell you had a cold.
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tich:
My father had a line of cursewords he'd always spit out when he was angry. But once when I was maybe five, I repeated that line, thinking that was what you were supposed to say when you were mad (goddamnpityshittohell). When he heard me say it, he turned white, told me never to say those words, and I never heard him say them again. Poor dad. He was (is) a good guy.
Laughter will do it. Combine that with sex, and there you have it.
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Matty:
I call you on the telly-phone, my voice too rough from cigarettes, oo-hoo-oo-hoo-ooo.
Audition: GROSS! Shudder! I would not do what she did, no matter how crabby I was, no no no no no!
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sage:
I went to the gym tonight. That took the fight right outta me. Hitting the bottle doesn't help a thing, and I guess hitting anything else just isn't in me. Though tomorrow night I hope to hit a punching bag, mostly to work out my weak little shoulders. Working out feels great!
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ginab:
It's not good to hold in the pee. Always pee first. You'll stand taller for it. And you won't have to deal with the worry of it.
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labbie:
You are Superlab. You can't possibly be puny and insignificant. Keep that in mind -- no matter how someone seems to want to make you feel, if it's puny and insig., they're messing with the wrong labster.
And I hope that more often than not, your real feelings about others are good feelings or positive feelings, or feelings that signify the other means enough to you that you want to clear the air with them. . .
12:45 AM
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