This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

As Luck Would Have It,

I've come down with a cold. It's my day off, and I've spent it doing absolutely nothing.

This, on the heels of last night's kickboxing class at the Y. My instructor looks really cool when she punches and kicks. I can see in the mirror that I am a skinny, spazzy white chick. I have tons of energy, though, and maybe that counts for something. So far, this is the only class I've taken at the Y during which the instructor plays music that makes me want to dance.

But back to this morning, when I woke with a sore throat and sinuses. Maybe I'm working out some toxins. I slept in late, talked to my roommate, and then stretched my sore shoulders and legs while I listened to the radio.

And I heard about this movie, which is called The Beaver Trilogy. I'm just dying to see this film, which is based on a chance meeting -- in the seventies, the filmmaker caught a young man on videotape while he (the filmmaker, I mean) was in a parking lot, messing around with a videocamera. The young man was clearly excited to be filmed, and he launched into a series of impressions; John Wayne, Sylvester Stallone, and Olivia Newton-John. Mesmerized, the filmmaker keeps the tape rolling and ends up with about thirty minutes of coverage, I think it was? The story, which begins as a documentary, gets stranger from that point, and in the end of Part I, the filmmaker is left with these unresolved feelings of guilt. Part II is a reenactment of Part I, with a few variations. First of all, an actor has been hired to play the part of the young man in the original documentary: Sean Penn. The story progresses exactly as it was originally filmed, Sean Penn doing a pretty good imitation of its original subject, though there's a key variation to the very end of the movie. In Part III, the scene is once again reenacted, this time by Crispin Glover. Part III is filmed, rather than videotaped, and the filmmaker's part has been changed a little; his character is slicker, pushier, much less neutral.

That's enough of that. I've sent out an email in hopes that I can somehow watch this movie.

Now, here's some backstory. On Wednesday I flew to Grand Rapids to see The Who with Ginab. One of my flights was cancelled en route, so I just barely managed to get there on time. On the way there, I read half of Toby Young's memoir, How To Lose Friends and Alienate People. This book chronicles the writer's quick rise in the world of New York magazine publishing and then his equally quick demise as he makes a long series of stupid social faux pas. The author is a little hard to believe, I guess because he celebrates his indulgent, boorish self as an anti-hero. It's as though he's reveling in his own naughtiness, meaning that he winds up sounding a little priggish in the process.


Here's a picture of Toby Young. I think he's been bald for a while, now (he points that out in his book, though he also implies that the beautiful New York socialites he lusts for don't want to date him because he doesn't have lots of money or social prominence. I'm guessing that his personality [and not some problem originating with the ladies] was the real rub; though he points out his own flaws, he doesn't seem interested in correcting them. And I just don't like his tendency to blame the ladies for being shallow, when he -- well, you get the picture).


Anyway, we saw The Who, our seats were right up there near the stage, and afterwards I got drunk on three pints. The following morning (e.g. four hours later), we arose and Gina returned me to the airport for my flight back, during which I finished the second half of that memoir.

In the end of this book, Toby Young tells us the stupidest thing he ever said (he told the woman he'd madly pursued and then finally won that he didn't believe in love, and yay! she dumped him). He gets the girl back in the end, but it isn't easy. I hope he learned something, but he sounds a bit too high-maintenance for my liking, I guess.

Is that not an odd frame for a very odd vacation?

All right, I'm going to stir fry some vegetables, clean up a little, work on something, and then I'm going dancing because you know what? I think my head's screwed back on now. I'm glad I had a day off for this.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

God, I've been out of the loop for so long I missed your birthday and about a million other posts. Tis the season to be overworked, over stressed and yes, sick with weird viruses and flus and headcolds. Yippee!
Hope your feeling better and that dancing your ass off cured you.

8:50 PM

Blogger matty said...

Ing! We MUST see this film!!!! I've never heard of it, but I MUST see it!! MUST!

You have lots of energy and kick ass every day. You also turn the world on with your smile. Tis true.

Feel better! Drink hot tea with honey!

My cousins both had bad colds. I'm sure I will be catching it but tis the season. And, I really enjoyed seeing them. Now, I"m on my way to meet them to show them the Golden Gate and The Wharf. Problem is that they want to use their rental car --- I tired them out on foot yesterday. God help us. You know I'm going to get them sooooo lost. ...and, they have to be at the airport for Noon so it's not like we have a great deal of time.

Feel better!

8:01 AM

Blogger matty said...

Oh, and I'm glad your head is back on! I hate it when mine comes loose.

8:01 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Odd frame indeed.

Very sorry you're unwell. It's going around--like blond wigs on men's heads, a thing to benefit only this Toby guy. I've been blasting whole continents out of my nostrils. My mother watched me--watched me!--blow my nose. gawd!

She has a hat that makes her look like a rabbi. I'm thinking: if only I had a hand held cam. There's a trip in there, and certainly it's odd. Makes me want to blow (my nose!).

vitamin C kiddo and zinc!


6:42 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

I am not won over by a movie about a past obsession unless the cat can actually find his mouse, that would be cool, otherwise we all have people we wonder about, and we all have the same subjects we never find. Find the real character, maybe part four.Its hard to like a movie if you have not watched and suffered or enjoyed...Just rambling, I send good juju towards your malady so you will feel good domani. If not then someone else in SanFran will feel very healthy! I go bed now, wine makes me garrulous, so to speak, have I told you about this? Well...

7:21 PM

Blogger ing said...

Dancing did not cure the cold, but it got me out of my apartment, which was great. I'm taking Theraflu. Maybe it'll help me sleep. My chest feels like it's been scrubbed raw, from within. Ugh.

Tomorrow night after work, yoga.



I should have a copy soon, and we WILL. I'll feel better in a week or so, I think. But I can tell this thing's going to linger and even get a little worse for a bit.

Did you get your cousins thoroughly lost? I hope they got to see beautiful Colma.



Everyone I talk to has a cold now. This happens to me every single Christmas. Weird.

Why does mom want to see these things? Has she converted to Judaism?

I don't have the vitamins -- I spent my wad on arnica for my knee and theraflu for the nose, ears, and throat. This is going to be a bad cold, unless I luck out. More bruises are showing up -- it seems to be spreading. I'm so glad it's not skirt season.



The part of the story that doesn't show up in the movie was when the filmmaker finally showed this thing, which he'd been working on since the seventies, at Cannes, I think it was. And guess who showed up and offered an idea for part IV? Yep, and the filmmaker has plans to create that last bit, with the help of the man who first inspired this. It's fate, Josh.

I take it you drink a lot of wine, then?

10:44 PM

Blogger Mone said...

*********************************************************************************************SPARKLING DUST TO GET THE COLD AWAY*****************************************************************************************************************************************

10:52 PM

Blogger Mone said...

now where did the sparkling go???

********************************************** SPARKLING DUST TO GET THE COLD AWAY***************************************************

10:54 PM

Blogger ing said...

Oooh, thanks, Mone! Matty may have swept up the sparkles -- he tends to collect them in his wake.

11:03 PM

Blogger Vesper said...

my new blog:

11:33 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hope you enjoyed the show. Sorry things didn't work out there. Maybe that's what made it odd.

I thought I said Alkaselzter for your cold! What's this theraflu?!


9:56 AM

Blogger ticharu said...

My wife took kick boxing classes in her mid 30s. We converted a room in the basement to a small gym and would spar on Saturday nights.
It was great fun!
I had lessons in my early 20s. I never really advanced beyond 'punching bag' status but I still learned a lot. Like when to RUN!!!
Nothing like beating the crap outa each other on a regular basis to bring you close!

5:56 PM

Blogger ing said...

Okay, vesper, I'll look in a minute. . .



I DID enjoy, and I bought the Theraflu because they didn't stock the alka-seltzer at the store. I'm too busy to go searching, I guess. It's working okay. Arnica does wonders for bruises, too.



I'll remember your relationship advice. That sounds like fun -- so far, I haven't met a guy who'll take kickboxing with me. Or even yoga. I thought I lived in California, but the dudes don't comply. I'm looking for a yoga-doin', knitting, funky-fresh cutie who can make up funny rhymes, grow dahlias, and cook me a healthy breakfast with lots of spinach and avocados in it. Where is he?

9:24 PM

Blogger matty said...

B and I are still laughing from your voicemail!

You rock! ...well, you knew that. Oh, and I did take the sparkles, but I can give you some back if you really need 'em.

I am so ready to see that film! I'm all excited!

...OK, so I'm getting kind of excited about Christmas Eve and Christmas! I really am!!!


Now, drinks lots of fluids. I am told that whiskey, wine and diet coke don't really count. And, rest! Feel better!

No. I didn't get my cousins too lost. Tho, they did see a few too many crack head and ho's. But, these are the areas I know best. Colma I only find by accident.

glitter kisses and diet coke hugs

my new phone is one of the (red) 'razor' phones. it's pretty and gets a signal at my house. however, the battery power went out just after I heard your message. so it is now charging. tomorrow night we're putting my real number on it!
Yay! A phone that works.

Do I get some sort of prize for the longest comment in the histroy of blogdom?

9:46 PM

Blogger ticharu said...

I'm married... :)

3:38 PM

Blogger ing said...


I'm excited, too! I HOPE I have that movie by Xmas. . . and I hope your new phone works soon!

Kickboxing at 8am -- I think I'll go to bed now. We'll see if I can wake up that early. If not, there's spin class at 9.

10:49 PM

Blogger ing said...


In my list, I forgot to specify that he must be SINGLE.

Do you knit? Really? You MUST post a picture of something you've knitted.

10:55 PM

Blogger lryicsgrl said...

Awe Ing, feel better soon!
Well, I actually didn't pay attention to the date on this, so, I do hope you are well, right at this moment!

Grand Rapids and back in such a short period of time....good on ya!


4:33 AM

Blogger matty said...

So, was it to kick boxing or spinning?

6:36 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, the 'man' wears his glasses halfway down his nose. I'm wondering if he likes to be scolded and if he enjoys looking like his mom.


12:15 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I with Gina -- I'm thinking he probably likes a good scolding!

...but, then, sometimes -- so do I.

6:08 PM

Blogger ing said...

¡Mádre de Díos!

6:27 PM

Blogger matty03 said...

i don't know how to read german.

je suis fromage

6:40 AM

Blogger ginab said...

This is weird. I posted as ME but I came up as I have longed to be: anonymous.

I do need to work here, but hey...I also needed to chime in.



7:54 AM

Blogger ing said...

Matty, if for one night you could be any cheese, and there were no limits or restrictions or consequences, if cost was no object, which cheese would you be?

I would be Jarlsburg.

7:57 AM

Blogger ing said...


I'm afraid your anonymity was short-lived.

Chime! Someday, if I ever again own a home, I want to have an old grandfather clock in the hallway. On the hour, I want to hear chimes.

7:59 AM

Blogger matty03 said...

...hmmmm. I think I'd be Cheez Wiz. Cause I'm all about class and quality. ...and, caloric intake.

10:05 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

Someone needs to do a new post.

Hint: it's not me...

6:37 PM

Blogger Stewart Sternberg said...

While I think I would like to read this book you have described, just reading your description has pissed me off. This Toby character sounds like an annoying individual.

Glad you enjoyed The Who. Envy you there.

6:46 AM


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