This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Being Single Just Sucks,

and that's partly because there's not much I can do about it (and please, you who have someone, PLEASE spare me the stories of how easy it is to meet someone and how lucky YOU are -- I've heard it a million times!). But here's a specific example of the suckihood of my present (eternal) status:

I have a friend who lives upstairs from me. She broke up with her boyfriend for reasons I won't get into, except to say that under the circumstances, this was a very wise choice. Since the breakup, she's been behaving like a single person, too -- going on dates, tagging along when I have plans, etc. Well, since the vast majority of you aren't single, you might not realize that New Year's Eve can be a huge drag when you're are. Single, I mean. Because everyone else wants to spend New Year's Eve all coupled up with their sig. other, sharing their special moment of specialness, marvelling at how long they've been together.

This New Year's Eve, I was covered, as my upstairs friend made me promise that I would spend it with her, and that we'd get dressed up and have lots of fun on our own. I said sure, okay, it's not like I have a date or something. But guess what! The boyfriend got back together with her this morning, and there go my plans to wear my sparkly low-cut blouse. Because the single person is the backup plan, when there's no better prospect. You know how that makes the single person feel? Lonely!

Here are the shoes I bought to dance in on New Year's Eve. Sad.


Blogger matty said...

I'm sorry you're down. You know, I've never enjoyed New Year's Eve. I always feel let down whether I am single or couple'd. Last year I was single and spent it with a giant pizza, some DVD's and all alone. It was the best one I had experienced in years.

This year I find myself couple'd. And, I suspect the my boyfriend will be in Canada while I am here.


But, I hate being in a club full of people when that horrible/sad song comes on and I feel like Peggy Lee wanting to know if this is all there is. ...and, I consider myself and upbeat person. Go figure.

You know you're always welcome to be with me.

And, those are fucking awesome shoes!

You could just toss caution to the wind, put those shoes on and get out there on your own and dance up a storm. won't be dancing alone for long. Just stay in control.

love and kisses

8:14 PM

Blogger ing said...

I'll probably go out on my own, and yes, I will stay perfectly in control. Unless I begin dancing on a nice table.

Ugh, this smarmy dude hit on me at the beginning of yoga class. I attract overconfident types in their late fifties who have very loud speaking voices.

8:49 PM

Blogger T.J. said...

Dear Ingrid,
I think you're very pretty, and I'd be happy to dance with you on New Year's.

11:45 PM

Blogger Mone said...

Hope you'll feel better!

Merry Christmas Ing!

3:58 AM

Blogger matty03 said...

...why do straight guys seem to get louder and more aggressive as they get older? ...Is it a fear of death? Wasn't this a theme in that Cher movie, MOONSTRUCK? ...she found love. ...with a loud amputee who baked breads. However, he did like opera. Her parents annoyed me, tho. However, most parents do.

6:38 AM

Blogger ing said...


Well, thank you. That's very sweet.



Oh, I'll feel better all right. I have shoes to wear. I may even splurge on a cab.



A fear of death?! That's funny!

And do you think it's a virtue for a man to like opera? I just don't know if I could take that. Nor would I want to live with his parents.

11:08 PM

Blogger ginab said...

In my life, outside of Paris (there I go mentioning 'Paris' again), I have attended one party on New Years. I'm saying this is with or without someone in my life. I'm treating New Years like it's Tuesday. Imagine Tuesdays from now on!!! I'm thinking there's too much importance, too many expectations, being attached to a year tipping over into another, new year. I'm also thinking you might loan your upstairs buddy those shoes so she can dance to break her neck and this, the brokeness, will make the end of that wretched comingling.

fuck new years, in other words.

How can anyone feel facinated by a forced celebration?


6:59 AM

Blogger Me said...

Ing! Stop now! Put on those shoes and go dancing anyway. And puhleeeeze for all the happy, warm fuzzy coupledom stories you hear there are a million more absolutely awful stories of totally wrong couples. Just be happy and wear good shoes. ;) Merry Christmas!

11:28 PM

Blogger ing said...


Wretched commingling -- woah!

'Til Tuesday, then. But I have to say, I love the idea of a new year because I always picture a better future. The idea of a new year jars me out of this stubborn slackerness (a little, anyway).

And next year I have one huge decision to make, and a deadline. I'm a little scared by this, but then again, it'll be a relief to take that leap.



I will, I'll dance anyway, if I can manage it in 4" heels. I myself am not half of a couple because I could tell that in the long run, this particular thing wasn't going to make me happy at all. I guess I idealize couples sometimes. I love people, and while I do need to spend some time all alone, there are moments and hours when I'd like to spend quality time with another person who loves me as much as I love him. Especially if he'd make the coffee in the morning. That would be nice. I wouldn't mind seeing the morning sun shine through the curtains with someone else.

1:22 PM

Blogger Vesper said...

i'm single, and those are HOT shoes! i want.

9:00 PM

Blogger Spinning Girl said...

I think I'll just kiss my own arm. Again.

6:08 AM

Anonymous xsta said...

I'm with you. There are 2 part of being single that sucks - 1 the being single part and 2 the feeling bad about it. The first part is usually managable - and you seem like someone who does that well, having a rich life full of all sorts of people who care about you combined with lots of interests and passions and oomph to pursue them. Such a blessing many of my coupled friends don't have (not an ounce of oomph!) But the green envy monster rises its head in me seeing that they have such blah lives but have someone to share it with and somehow that seems better than our rich, single lives. That's where the second part comes in - especially at times like new yr's and valentine's and every wedding, etc. The layer of feeling bad about it just seems to be worse than the actually being single, which in the end we know sucks but isn't intolerable and at times has its perks.
Not sure how coherent this is but I just stumbled across your blog and thought 'i feel EXACTLY the same way' and wanted to share my thoughts and shake myself out of the self-pity stupor I am fully capable of lapsing into.
Right now I'm trying to choose between new yr's options of 1) going to a dance where i don't know anyone and most people will be about 20-30 years my senior 2) going to a friend's house for a 'party' with 3 other couples where they're likely to sit and chat and go to bed at 1230, 3) going to a bar alone or 4) watching my aging parents fall asleep. if i wasn't on the east coast, I'd totally come out and go dancing with you!

9:34 AM

Anonymous Jessica Sideways said...

Yes, it's very difficult being single - especially when no one wants to be with you more than a couple of months (if you're really, really lucky). And it's worse if you're a transsexual woman like me. It's very difficult to find a man who wants you as a wife, who wants to spend the rest of life with you.

If there's nothing else that makes me feel like a total freak, it's that (and right now, other than the stitches from a freshly extracted tooth and a band-aid on my big left toe from bumping it while walking to the store).

11:18 AM


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