This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Classification, Alphabetization, Heavy Lifting, and Boys

I've been busier than busy lately, and holy madre de Aleister Crowley, am I tired! I've been dating up a storm -- so many, many men. I can't even begin to tell you. . . except to say that one from last week was very nice, and I'm going to see him on Thursday night.

In addition, though, one of the bookstores at which I'm employed has just expanded to three times its original size. We've been trying to put the whole joint together, but there are still megatons of books packed up in boxes, waiting for a home.


Today I alphabetized the occult, wicca, superweird phenomena, and astrology/divination sections. The fun part was differentiating between what's "New Age" as opposed to "superwierd." I ended up putting Edgar Cayce and Nostradamus and Sylvia Brown in "superwierd" with all the books about aliens and crop circles, while Shakti Gawain and Robert Anton Wilson remain in "New Age." Tomorrow I go back for Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism, and Islam. Towering sections of seriousness, much easier to differentiate from each other.

And you know, I love to categorize books, I really really do! I found a perfect spot in the store for the the books on how to write, which I mixed up with the usage dictionaries; I just hope that the right person discovers them.

And when all the madness begins to dissipate, I'm going to write a story or two that I hope will kill you. Not literally, as in murder, but something that will leave you feeling as though you've been through a little trauma and come out the other end changed. That's my goal.

Let me repeat myself, because that's what tired people do: I'm tired. Very. I'm going to leave you with an image that has everything to do with the way ideas are categorized, just to give you a real solid idea of how my mind has been working, nonstop, for the previous ten hours straight and will be, I imagine, tonight when I'm dreaming:


And on Thursday night, a date with someone who as of yet is unclassifiable. If all goes well, he'll stay that way for a while.

32 Comments:

Blogger ing said...

I just took a sleeping pill (I've had trouble, lately), so I'm going to read some Bernard Cooper, then it's off to dreamland. Tomorrow, first thing, I'm off to the gym, then I work for 12 hours straight! I'll be thinking of you!

9:32 PM

 
Blogger jungle jane said...

Ing, i am very impressed with your librarian skills. Do you keep your CD's in alphabetical order, or do you store them by genre??

i am so glad you are a dating machine - i am sure there is a hottie right around the corner ready to start worshipping you.

i've had a bit of luck in that area myself recently actually...it feels fantastic...

9:57 PM

 
Blogger matty said...

Yay for the screenwriter!!! I've got my fingers crossed!!!

Bernie Cooper rocks!!!

I think I would enjoy organizing books, but would suck at it. You really need your own book store!!!

10:31 PM

 
Blogger Le Chitelier said...

Oooo, do keep us updated with that date of yours. We want details!

10:54 PM

 
Blogger purplesimon said...

Tired! Tired! Let me tell you about tired, Ing!

Getting up at 6am. Getting home from work at 10pm. That's my average day for the past 6 weeks. And you want more stories, more posts? Jeez.

Okay, you got it. I'm posting today if it kills me.

Can you come around my place and organise my books, please? I'll cook and roll fat joints for ya.

Is that a fair deal?

purplesimon out...

5:35 AM

 
Blogger ginab said...

My apt then looks like a bookstore. I'm not unpacking. Not much anyway. still not online from home, which is nice. Doesn't make sense. The weather is too fine.

Really, I need to catch up here at work. I'm more tired than I'd realized. Probably, from being taken to the cleaners.

Oh! I thought Nostradamus belonged in the Bible. Or, I'm confusing Joyce. OMG. In one year, I have promised myself, I will become a welder or a brick layer(er). My goal(s).

-g+bb

6:33 AM

 
Blogger AndyW said...

That picture reminds me of a dream I had last night, Coffee and Hotwheels!

7:19 AM

 
Blogger Niel said...

order the following things, and explain the basis if you can...

horse
radio
Klimt
pollution
Sin City
cookie jar

(is that mean? not sure if yer fed up with all 'at packing)

(my word verification is zuowarb. that's hilarious)

2:59 PM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

Your handwriting, its fantastic!I've been busy too, not dating boys just running amok type busy. Hence the paucity of substance in my posts and comments, forgive me for I am lazy. JW

3:08 PM

 
Blogger ginab said...

There's a time difference of three hours meaning I've noticed you call when I'm at work. Oops! That's where I am most days. Oh and when I call back you're not home. You're out and about and shoutin' up San Fran to the hills where they can hear you but they won't see you coming.

Have fun with what's at the post office. My passport arrived(whew).

12:47 PM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

Just saying "running amok" is fun!

1:21 PM

 
Blogger ticharu said...

My daughter sorts and re-organises her books constantly. She spends hours online making lists of books to get.
I used to do the same thing with CDs but I've overcome the illness though I'm sure I will relapse at some point in the future...
All those little men! Have you told them about us???

1:38 PM

 
Blogger Karen Little said...

Your bookshop looks so cool! I love the shelf-talkers. Do they stay that way forever?

I hate categorising the esotric section - it's my Ultimate Worst. I also hate doing the religion section (mostly because we only keep christian books there - for some reason, all other religions get shelved under 'philosophy. Huh?)

1:44 PM

 
Blogger ginab said...

Hey, I'm back in the world from home here. yowza. time to surf!

go get'em where you are.

6:42 PM

 
Blogger purplesimon said...

Ah, Ing, I love it when you call me purpy-pants.

The pressure has gone now, perhaps because I posted something worthwhile. Trouble is, how long will we have to wait for something more substantial?

We have an extra day of the weekend coming up on Monday, so perhaps I'll be able to tear myself away from my wife/cat/housework/office and write a story that goes on longer than 300 words.

Thanks for the comment, Ing, sometimes I need a kick up the arse to get me going and I will be relying on you to do that once my course starts - otherwise it'll be too easy to forget my homework.

purplesimon out...

1:38 AM

 
Blogger jungle jane said...

Ing my date is only in July when i get back to the UK...i am going to have to resist the tempation to blog about it...i will learn from Matty and keep my mouth shut on my blog.

i know what you mean about taking ages to decide...i like to think of it as my 'little voice of reason'...

4:22 AM

 
Blogger Niel said...

woah...

I set a mousetrap and you go on and deconstruct the whole thing.

nicely done. i appreciate the way you think.

you seem like a collector of things. do you have cases and cases of moths on display at home? in the non-serial killer sense?

maybe its just the whole "inventory mood". ain't it fun!

6:44 AM

 
Blogger Labbie said...

You know... I'm almost jeallous of all that dating. Almost.

(BTW, I have a contest going on on my blog... feel free to part take.)

11:40 AM

 
Blogger Pixie Sprinkle said...

Ing, what is a date? Mummy keeps telling me i am not allowed 'dates'. mind you - mummy also said i can't drink whiskey and smoke pot. slurp. puff.

3:42 AM

 
Blogger ginab said...

hey, I have one date. One sorta date. A coffee which I'll probably confuse for a flame and blow it out. poof it'll go and with it the couple of days wondering myself away. could he be nice? could he really be alright? will he send me another postcard?

4:36 AM

 
Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

I've called out your friend Flamingo. He's got until Monday, May 29, 2006 at midnight.

9:03 AM

 
Blogger ing said...

Jane:

Ha ha! My own CDs are all over the place -- I have about ten of them in my purse, ten on the floor of my car, and the rest are piled on a shelf in my room. I hardly ever put the CD back in the correct case (though I always put them in a case).

I want to hear about your date! I have one on Thursday. He's cute, but it takes me forever to decide how I really feel about guys, unless I'm sure right away that I don't like them. The scary part is that guys seem to make up their minds more quickly, and I really want to avoid going out with some guy who thinks he likes me a lot if it's possible that I might discover I'm not interested.

So with yours, did you know right away?

______________

Matty:

I do need my own store. But maybe I should start out with an online business?

_______________

Le Chit:

Here are the details from last week:

I met this screenwriter-guy at my favorite bar. Right away, I was surprised by how handsome he was -- black hair, nerdy glasses, sort of scholarly-cute. We talked for a while about books and movies, then he bought me another beer.

He said that he loved Chuck and Buck (great film) and that he had an "Angriest Dog In The World" t-shirt (old David Lynch comic strip). We were having a good time talking and decided on a third beer, plus a game of pool.

He's my Thursday date -- yay!

The other guy, I've dated three times now. He's very handsome -- one of those supertall guys who's always ducking under things. He looks like this total Californian: lots of longish blonde hair, stylish but casual dresser, super white teeth. . .but he has this slow, drawling Minnesotan way of speaking that cracks me up, and sometimes he seems genuinely surprised by things that I find ordinary, which also cracks me up.

But there are three problems:

1. He drove on the last date, and he's one of those impatient horn-honkers who gets kinds of peeved if he's lost. Me, I get lost all the time when I'm driving, and especially if there's someone else in the car, I think it's kind of fun. I ONLY honk my horn if someone's about to hit me and they don't realize it. Because I just don't think it's all that important.

2. He goes to Burning Man -- there's nothing intrinsically wrong with that, but I always kind of avoided guys who wear those big Seuss hats in their pictures. Maybe I'm closed-minded on this one. But Burning Man?

3. Three dates, and he hasn't tired to kiss me. But he's stopped by to visit me at work a couple of times, so I figure he likes me.

This guy might be a friend & nothing more, which would be okay with me.

That's it for now!

_________________

Purps:

That's just waaay too much work! You should go to Burning Man (ha ha).

Okay, Simon, we have such a deal! I'm there, and I'm organizing! I'll check out your post a little later.

And I'm glad that you're one of The Lord's obedient servants.

_____________

Ginab:

I've always wanted to take a welding class. Carpentry's fun, too.

I imagine the weather's too nice right now to be unpacking. I still have a box of stuff from the old house in my trunk, and tomorrow I have to pack up several more. So depressing!

There's a package from you at the post office. After I answer everyone, I'm going to rush out to get it & to put some money in my teeny little account. Then it's off to yoga class (yay!).

I left you a message the other night. Where are you?
_______________

andyw:

Lately, my own dreams have been very structured. I really do think it's all this conceptual/relativist/spatial thinking that goes with organizing a store.

Today, though, I'm taking the whole day off!

__________________

niel:

Woah, it took me forever to realize that your profile is a toothbrush! I'm fried!

Okay,

horse
radio
Klimt
pollution
sin city
cookie jar

becomes

Klimt
cookie jar
radio
pollution
horse
sin city

because

1. Klimt

We may as well begin with art, which should be near the register and well within sight -- these books are expensive and we don't want them to get ripped off. They should be near the front of the store where there's lots of space to sit and browse, since art books are meant to be looked at for a long time. And since they are beautiful, they're one of the first things people should see when they come in.

2. cookie jar

Interior decorating and collectibles belong next to art. We are still in the realm of aesthetics, but we're getting a little more domestic here.

3. radio

While we're still domestic/collectible, when we start thinking about short-wave/ham and repair, we're entering the realm of science and communication and media.

4. pollution

Now we're morphing to media and natural sciences.

5. horse

Which, now we're into biological sciences and, besides, transportation and recreation -- the horse in our culture is more than an animal, it's a project and a lifestyle that literally transports us and that causes people to go places (shows and so forth). There's also a history of gambling associated with horses.

Sin City

Now we're in the travel section, though I think we got there from the horse section via sports and pastimes, ending with the books about chess and poker.

_____________

Josh:

Thanks! Remember back in early Junior High, when you'd get actual grades for penmanship? I bet they don't teach that anymore! How stupid it all seems now. . .

Dating boys is fun! But then, so is running amok.

____________

Ginab:

I talked to you last night! Yay!

You lied your head of too a cop, but not about anything that he'd think was really vital -- that's my ginafriend!

Hey, everyone, my house may sell in 45 days, and the first thing I want to buy is a ticket to see my Gina!

Gina, you up for that? If you're not in Barcelona, can I descend on your peaceful home like a starving buzzard?

______________

Josh:

I like to shout "poppycock" after someone has made a long and well-thought-out speech. Now that's living! (It's also kind of fun to say "nonsense" in a forceful tone of voice, and then to drop a lit cigarette into the listener's flute of champagne.)

_______________

Tich:

I was scared that if I told the men about all of you, they would think I was kind of crazy. Because I've caught myself talking about you to people other than Gina and Matty, who understand, and it really does sound a little insane from an outsider's perspective.

Like, That reminds me of my friend Ticharu, who makes all this crazy experimental music and lives in a house made of corn cobs. He sits in a tree most of the time, peering down at everyone from his hood.

______________

Karen:

The shelftalkers change every so often -- they tend to fall out when the books get loose & the supply is low. But you should see the store now! When I get a battery for my camera I'll take a photo. The walls are hung with all this really really cool art! Wow! Super neat & funky fresh, yo!

That is so strange about the religion/philosophy thing! 'Course here in N. California there are probably more Buddhists and Scientologists than Christians.

______________

ginab:

Wham, bam! You're back, baby!

______________

Purpy-pants:

Purpy pants!

I need that same kick myself. I procrastinate a lot. But once I get going, it's usually fine.

_______________

Oh god, I have to run! I'm going to a party. I'll tell you more later, but the cute screenwriter is kind of neat! I'll see him again tomorrow, so. . .

8:56 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

Okay, I'm back, and woo, those salsa lessons shore paid off, knawmsayin'?

Okay.

Jungle Jane:

I guess I should take my cue, because somehow the screenwriter got 'hold of my regular email addy, which I programmed so that when I send there's a link to my blog. I'm pretty sure I didn't give him this one, but he sent me an email that went to this address, and I replied to his email, and lo, I forgot to delete the link. OOPS! So now I must keep my lips sealed until I know what's going on. When I do know, though, I will blab. As you know I am prone to do. I am not a hoarder of personal truths. I am a Saggitarius.

_____________

Neil, et. al:

I'm afraid that after all the dancing and sangria, I may be on the verge of death and should sleep now. I will answer soon, my cuteses!

xo

1:41 AM

 
Blogger josh williams said...

I don't have time to comment I'm on the hunt for someone with a flute of champagne to dunk my cigarette into after I say, whadda buncha bunk!
I may have to settle for a glass of beer, but I plan on making this my signiture. Everytime I leave a pub, party or art auction (man those speed painters are something) I will puff my chest out and declare "Wadda buncha bunk" and scorce out my fag in someones drink! Thanks ing I was looking for classy way to make my exit. JW

2:56 PM

 
Blogger Le Chitelier said...

So, the horn honkin' dude... is that Tomboy?

10:20 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

Okay,

Neil:

I don't really collect anything except books and CDs. I'm highly disorganized in my regular life. I'm only on top of things at work. Today I alphabetized the entire history section and found some truly cool and interesting books. But nothing beats the Pat Boon hardcover entitled A Miracle A Day Keeps The Devil Away. I put it right next to the cash register!

_________________

Labster:

Well, get your fine self out there and date! It's fun!

I have a feeling I missed your contest. Too much dating, not enough blogging.

______________

Pixie:

A date is what you eat when you're all backed up. You're too small for dates & will waste away if you have one, so listen to your mother. Your Auntie Ingrid, however, can have as many as she sees fit.

_____________

ginab:

Well, from the sound of it you ended up seeing a lot of other guys in addition to your date, so. . .

______________

Erin:

It's 11:45 -- I better go look! Okay, here I go!

(tick, tock, tick, tock)

There -- deadline extended! Where is that bird?

_________________

I need sleep! More later. . .

11:48 PM

 
Blogger ginab said...

Not sure if you know this, but "classification" is, well, spelled...

But I enjoyed our real as I'm sitting here conversation the other night. Sounds like everything is moving on your end and you'll be on your way to some place different soon. Anyone wants to send me an escape route, I'm all ears and I am as real as I'm sitting here right now, blah-blah-blah. ;-)

Yes, there are men and there are guys and there are boys. If only there were no absolute pricks.

-g+bb

4:52 AM

 
Blogger ginab said...

what am I blind?

Pray I have money. Oh, it's coming but not before I turn blue, translucent, and dead.

by all means swoop, but I'd wait until it's cooler 'cause you hate it here when it's hot as hell. Chomsky says it's over for the US, so bury what you have and I'll meet you in the middle.

9:29 AM

 
Blogger matty said...

Oh, dear! Time for a new post! You've many adventures to transcribe!!!!

10:55 PM

 
Blogger ticharu said...

Ha! Ha! That's funny! I peer down on the world and find it wanting... what happens if I wave my magic wand??? Oops! I have children! Won't wave that again!

I know what you mean though. It's not a 'real' world to people who don't blog.

12:43 PM

 
Blogger Labbie said...

Yeah, you missed it. Anywho... If you look really, really hard on www.match.com, following all the clues on my blog's profile, you might just find a certain "Lab Boy" out there on the meat market in PA... Hehehehe.

3:05 PM

 
Blogger ginab said...

burp

B-e-elch

obcene noises

brrrrumphh

more of those

and mystery

flies buzzing around the darkness all around the noises, the smells the echoes underground.

1:16 PM

 

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