Übermom

Last night, tonight, and for the next three days, my parents are visiting from out of town. This is quite an ordeal for me, mainly because of my mother, who is the master of back-handed compliments and veiled criticisms. My father, on the other hand, is incredibly positive, supportive, and surprisingly modern in his views, considering that at one time he was a conservative Republican (no offense to any readers who are, though).

Tonight after work, then, I was supposed to meet my parents for dinner. After last night, when they met my dear Matty and my mother implied several times that I was incompetent and unnatractive, I was ready for war. (In case you think I'm making this stuff up, Matty is my witness!) But oddly enough, war didn't happen.

Tonight I learned that my father was an instant Mattyfan. Apparently, he'd like more than anything for Matty to be his new son-in-law. I reminded him that my Matty is muy gay, and that I wouldn't want Matty to be anything other than who he is, no way!

But my mother's main concern (no surprise) is that I'm too close to Matty and that when he inevitably gets snatched up by some highly fortunate guy, I will once again be alone. Why, why, why does she focus on the possibility that I will lose my friend? Why does she seem to relish this so? I understand that she's worried about me, but why does she choose to envision a future for me where I am the one left behind?

More to the point (and this, I tried to explain), why does she not focus on the idea that I am once again a happy ing, that no matter what happens in the future I have made some truly positive steps, that one doesn't unlearn that San Francisco is the ideal city to explore, which I have, all because I met Matty?

Look, I know my mother is old-fashioned. But come, now! Just because I'm not having sex with a man, does that mean that the man will lose interest in me? I don't think so! But it's devastating that my mother does. It's devastating that she has so little faith in me, the person I am. Because here: I'm a funny woman, I'm very bright, I'm stylish, I've weathered the stormiest of storms, I'm level-headed, I'm very good at everything I set out to do, and I can salsa dance!

Which, okay, I have a dear friend in Kalamazoo, my best and closest friend, Gina. And while we've been separated by many miles over the past few years, while one or both of us has been involved with some guy and have gone through periods of less-contact-than-more, we've managed to maintain this friendship that I hope will last and last (if I have anything to do with it, yes, it will). Meaning, when my house does sell, I am going to use at least some of that money to visit my friend in Kalamazoo, as she has visited me here in San Francisco.

I suppose she has good intentions, my mother. I suppose so. But sometimes it's hard to fathom.

Three more days and I don't have to worry about what I should not worry about anyway!