This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Gary Shteyngart: Sexy Punctuator

Gary Shteyngart, Leningrad's newest literary über-babe, has just published his latest comic novel, Absurdistan. I have not read this book and I likely will not, as I read short stories almost exclusively. Though I may need to make an exception for Mr. Shteyngart because according to The New York Times Book Review, he's a big fan of the comma and the semicolon, which means he writes long and elaborate sentences with many clauses. Perhaps, then, he is my destiny. There's nothing, dear readers, more sexy than an uninterrupted string of dependent and independent clauses elegantly linked with the proper punctuation and -- when necessary -- coordinating conjunctions. Now is it me, or is it hot in here?

The coolest feature of this book, if you ask me, is that one character, a lecherous Russian emigré who cashes in on his hot accent to pick up chicks, has a name very similar to Shteyngart's. In other words, this writer created an unflatteringly sleazy character who he then very clearly associates with himself. Which, that's funny, meaning, adorable!

I do love a man with a keen sense of satire and an excellent command of his sentence structure. Shteyngart won lots of critical acclaim for a previous novel, The Russian Debutante's Handbook, and the reviewers are buzzing about this next title.

But in the long run, who cares? Look at this guy! Isn't he yummy?


Blogger purplesimon said...

Oh, first to comment - that rarely happens to me. Yippee!

I popped by to ask about your date (see, I read comments on other blogs!) and see if you drank too much, etc. Did you?

Okay, this post here is cool. I also love good sentence structure, good use of punctuation and, with my own Russian family background, I like to think that, maybe, I have a chance to be called yummy by a stranger.

Okay, so I can dream!

Exercise and creative output - that doesn't work for me, although doing two hours of yoga yesterday really made me feel good. Didn't help my lack of writing, though.

Have you seen the shite I posted at the weekend? Ugh, if I wasn't so interested in showing the world that I too can write like a 5-year old I'd have taken it down almost as soon as it had gone up. I suggest that you read the one below the last post - it's about a woman in a cafe and is much much better.

Can you tell that I am not happy at work because it sucks out all my creativity and leaves me nothing with which to write short stories?

purplesimon out...

4:59 AM

Blogger purplesimon said...

Sorry that my comment was so long.

Please keep scrolling for more interesting comments.

Thank you for visiting Ing's blog.

purplesimon out...

4:59 AM

Blogger Mone said...

Well, he has something... :-)

6:11 AM

Blogger AndyW said...

I'm not a woman but if I were I'd be affraid of this guy unless I had a stun-gun handy.

Although I suppose we should not judge a book by its cover. Unless you're a book binder.

9:30 AM

Blogger Labbie said...

Uh, no.

And I think a Hispanic accent is much more sexier.

But I may be biased about that.

9:52 AM

Blogger Captain Carl said...

Arrrr.....his book might be good but look at his beard....his lips like the gentials on a woman.......but if you end up reading it and say its good....ay will have ta check it out..........
...its funny every since ay nabbed Becks Body ay cant stop dancin.....ay be dancin right now...
p.s. there is a present fer ya on me blog.....ay know ya said ya didnt want a doll....but it will hav ta do fer now........

11:44 AM

Blogger ginab said...

Since when did Sponge Bob make it over there? I'm not kidding. Get in shape (do as your sentences would).

I'm here and I'm not here. Real and unreal, barely bearable; one ding-a-ling wins happiness forever. (I don't have long distance yet.)


PS: hi back!

2:09 PM

Blogger ticharu said...

Yummy??? You're yummy, at least from this distance, but this guy; while he may be a gifted sentence constructor and a snappy dresser, that learing stare should aughta send up red flags, I mean, it would in my boook if I wrote a boook. Danger young Ing!

8:04 PM

Blogger jungle jane said...

Ing there is nothing sexier than punctuation to me. A misplaced comma and an errant apostrophe cause me to hyperventilate. A well punctuated paragraph is like a smooth drop of whiskey to my soul.

Ing I feel it necessary to express my sheer loathing of modern English. It jars my blood like nails on a chalkboard. i thnk u no wot i mean m8?

8:19 PM

Blogger Pixie Sprinkle said...


That is all.

11:48 PM

Blogger Le Chitelier said...

Hmmm, what else besides literature can he punctuate?

4:27 PM

Blogger sage said...

I take it you find Faulkner hot and Hemingway a bore!

7:04 PM

Blogger matty said...

Well, I don't think he is great looking, but he dresses well and it would appear he has the smarts -- so he could be cool. hmmmm...

I was wondering if you were going to write of your adventures with me and Goldfrapp!?!?!? What about the near arrest when you tried to steal those Beck posters and that Who poster for Gina? ...or that moment when I had to sign that waiver as the Fillmore management had to pull you off the Jesus Goldfrapp dude on stage. Allison was soooo upset with you, but I thought it was cool when you danced with her! What heels!

8:48 PM


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