This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Wanna Get High?

Then go running in the panhandle, where you'll pass through cloud after cloud of pot smoke. Which, for people like me who don't get that endorphin rush, that so-called "runner's high" that's supposed to be so great? I guess the secondhand high is a substitute feeling. But man, I really wish that people wouldn't smoke anything next to the path. Because you know, when I'm running as hard as I can, the last thing I want to do is breathe someone's smoke. Honestly!

Today I wore shorts, and I think I actually looked cute in them! I wouldn't normally be caught dead wearing shorts, but now that I've been running for about six weeks, I can see the difference. It's awesome to feel good about my body, and to feel good in it, too! And I'm provoking a lot of compliments from the homeless men on Haight street. I've had several marriage proposals, and one guy asked if I would like to go half on a baby, which I thought was a generous offer.

But I wonder why I'm only attractive to homeless men, a number of whom smoke pot in the panhandle. Maybe marijuana makes everything look more beautiful. . .

Last night I talked to my friend JCP, and he mentioned this thing I'm always hearing about & which to me is as unfamiliar as runner's high - it's this state where you feel all right with yourself and you're in a super healthy emotional space and you project beauty. JCP said he experienced that once in his life, for about 30 minutes, and people (I think he meant ladies) even approached him. This has never happened to me, but I hope that someday it does. I would love to feel that way, to be in this state of grace that others can recognize.

Okay, nighty night, my friends!


Blogger matty said...

I think you should take to jogging in your panties and spike heel shoes!

(you always look gorgeous!)

is the panhandle fell street? i'm confused. i live here, but i don't know where anything is. ?

we took Little Bagel to the beach today and she played in the ocean with her tiny tennis ball. i think she was cold, but had fun.

love and kisses from across the city,

3:39 PM

Blogger Miss Pants said...

After reading your post, I started to miss being hit on by the homeless guys in the bay area. (Clue as to how dating is going this week.)

I wish I could have worn shorts today - it was snowing here. YIKES!

11:57 PM

Blogger sage said...

Going in 1/2 of a baby? What a come-on line! His math skills are lacking a bit--you should have asked if he want's the first 4 1/2 months

10:25 AM

Blogger ing said...


Well, that tactic didn't work so well when Jill tried it on Don. I don't think the sexy improvisational dance at the Christian therapy group woked, either. And serving a man sausages while wearing a fur-collared negligee wasn't very successful. But I'm willing to try anything! Anything!

Ummmm, I can't remember where "Fell" (sp?) street is, but The Panhandle is down my street, and then over one more block, then I jog up to the left, and then over, and then I cross the street. You know, WEST!

Or something.

Tell Bagel to stop playing with her tiny tennis balls! I told you that getting her fixed would screw up her hormones!



miss pants:

The homeless guys around here are mostly pretty nice, though occasionally there's someone walking around yelling about how he's full of hate, and then I get kind of scared. That's only at night, though.

SNOW?! Wow, I keep forgetting how it snows in the desert. I don't think I've ever been to Utah when it wasn't really hot outside. Are you dating any Mormon boys?



I think he meant that our beloved halfchild would be born 4 1/2 months premature, and the baby would weigh maybe 4 pounds 3 ounces, and it would reach puberty at 8, and our little halfblessing would grow to be approx. 2 feet 10 inches tall. Or maybe the baby would have one arm, one leg, one eye. . . split in half down what whould be the meridian of a whole child.

Either way, I'm doing it!!!!!

11:31 PM


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