This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

The Bellybutton Is Deceitful Above All Things

Since Matty and Roximoon were kind enough to show us their bellybuttons

I thought I'd do the world a favor and give you an eyeful of mine.

Note that I have no tats, no piercings, no nuthin'. Just pure, hot, unadulterated belly button action, babies! Now when are you going to show me yours? Because you can run, but you can't hide. We will find your bellybutton, and we have ways of making it talk, should it come to that. Let's see it, people.

Howdy, suckas!

The next order of business is this tagging thing. I have discovered that the only rule, here, is that you're to post five things you decide you want the whole world to keep in mind in case you should die in some kind of fiery accident involving whales and harpoons. You must then tell five others to post the five things they would say to a cheetah, if the cheetah would only listen and understand them for once. If you do not break the chain, you get a million bucks and a night on the town with the bellybutton of your choosing (choose me! choose me!). If you should break the chain, the only consequences will be that you'll turn into a werewolf. Which, that's not so bad, is it?

I pick ginab, Matty, Davi, Ticharu, and um. . . let's see. . . you know who's due for a huge tagging? Yup, Chris Capp. (Chris, you owe me half a mil now.)


Blogger ing said...

That's right, suckas, you heard me.

4:51 PM

Blogger ginab said...

My dad used to tell me and my sister we didn't stop biting our fingernails a sliver of nail would pierce through and come out of our belly buttons and cause us instant death. My sister used to bite her fingernails down to the nail bed. Me? I didn't believe the story.

4:54 PM

Blogger ginab said...

What the fuck is tagging?

4:56 PM

Blogger ing said...

Yo, ginab, read the post! I'm way too important to reprint it here, in a comment.

4:58 PM

Blogger ing said...

Oh, and your sister didn't believe that story either, apparently. The one I heard was that the nail would land in your stomach and since it wasn't easily digestible, it would cut you all up inside and you'd bleed to death. Do you think that sounds plausible? I do.

5:00 PM

Blogger trueborn said...

Nice Belly button.
I have an outie which in and of itself deserves a label.
What no lint?

5:16 PM

Blogger ing said...

Call it "Little Elvis!" Pleeeeeease?!

5:28 PM

Blogger trueborn said...

Little Elvis?
Lordy that may require an explanation.

6:06 PM

Blogger ticharu said...

Ing my darling, the five things will be posted on Ticharu Gets Legs by the time you wake in the morn.

6:15 PM

Blogger ing said...

Okay, how about "Big Bad John."

6:16 PM

Blogger jungle jane said...

i might tag myself for fun. now. am i the whale or the harpoon?

6:20 PM

Blogger ing said...

You the harpoon, baby. Straight up.

6:23 PM

Blogger wallycrawler said...

Belly button eh ? I'm more into the abs , which you have and low riders "nice" !

6:48 PM

Blogger ing said...

You like low riders? There are lots of them in SoCal. But watch out for the hydraulics.

6:55 PM

Blogger ing said...



6:57 PM

Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

You look totally wasted. I get all excited when I see you and shit, I feel like quoting John Hinckley and shit

7:27 PM

Blogger ing said...

--Wasted on your hotness, you sweet thing.

You're not in Jody Foster's Army, are you?

7:32 PM

Blogger matty said...

Ing -- You look hot! Nice belly button. And, if that is Bill The Apostle's real picture -- it might be time to take up some religion!

Ok --- I shall post my 5 things to know about me shortly. I hope I do get the million! I need it. Still trying to figure out how to score my MUNI pass this week.

...i was joking with a pal that I am just a few days from $50 bj's on Polk Street. ...He actually thought I was serious!?!?!!? Ugh! I was so insulted. How could he think such a thing? I won't offer bj's for any amount under $100! Sigh. Some friend. Discounting me like that! Ok, 5 things.... Hmmmmm...

7:36 PM

Blogger ing said...

Hey, don't worry. Chris Capp owes me half a mil, and I'll gladly split it with you. I won't ask for a BJ, either, though I wouldn't mind if you'd do that skating dance for me.

I'm sooo converted to the Church of Bill. There's a few other members . . . I think one of them's called Jesus, maybe? I forget. I keep getting distracted by Bill.

7:39 PM

Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

Damn...this is quickly going past flirtation.

I even saw Arthur Bradford do a fucking reading.

I'm mailing you some of my flesh.

7:45 PM

Blogger ing said...

Oboy, Bill, you shouldn't have told me that thing about Arthur Bradford. Should I get a bigger mailbox?

7:56 PM

Blogger Gorgs said...

Depends on which part of his flesh he decides to send you.

7:58 PM

Blogger ing said...

True dat.

8:00 PM

Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

Not to mention that I took the time to read your profile.

See I'm dangerous and also totally sensitive.

I think you should at least write my name in pencil next to yours.

8:00 PM

Blogger ing said...

Damn, I already tattooed it on my tongue, baby.

8:01 PM

Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

Its all happenning so fast...Good night...I'm sorry I did the ligature so tight last time...sweet dreams

8:11 PM

Blogger ing said...

You are sensitive, wowser!

8:13 PM

Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

Wait until spring Bandini made me cry.

If some people are looking for me can I stay with you?

8:33 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

I notice Steve McQueen is alive and posting, if you are the true Steve McQueen what motorcycle movie did you finance and star in, circa 1971...Mert Lawell and Malcomn Smith were co-stars and it was during your stint filming LaMans...Bruce Brown made the movie (The same Bruce Brown from , Endless Summer, the surfer movie)... Oh my folks had my belly button gland removed when I was a child, because the are an entrance for evil. JWW

8:55 PM

Blogger ginab said...

All this virtual speak and no compliment on your ravishing new pic? What is everybody blind? Hello! My beautiful friend, she looks gorgeous!

9:12 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

Ginab: Duh? Goes without saying... You keep this up and I may comment again on your site...Run ginab Run! Kindest JW

9:25 PM

Blogger Pixie Sprinkle said...

My belly button for you Ing. You can just make it out through my negligee...

9:28 PM

Blogger matty said...

Ing -- will you make me fly like a true daugher of Zeus!

Oh! And, Gina -- I commented on Ing's hot new pix! How could I not??????

9:41 PM

Blogger matty said...

Oh, and I did my tag thingy and tagged others. when do you think I will get that money? I need a muni pas?!?!?!

9:42 PM

Blogger Chris Capp said...

Curses! Tagged when I wasn't looking!

The 500 G's have been transferred to your PayPal account. That'll seriously change my lunch plans this week, but fair's fair.

Five things ... ok ... thinking...

10:11 PM

Blogger Captain Carl said...

ARRRR.....Lets be get these people with the outties ta be hookin up with the innies.....for some hardcore belly lovin..........................

10:46 PM

Blogger matty said...

ing -- you've got me thinking of my mom tonight. she used to love to go honkey tonkin' and dancing to "belly rubbin'" music as she would call it. In the 70's she was a little floozy. Gotta love her!

Wow! Apostle Bill is sending you some flesh! If Jesus does see this, I wonder how he will react. Will he be jealous?

11:55 PM

Blogger BadGod said...


How the fuck are you?

Nice belly.

2:43 AM

Blogger Polyman2 said...

Did I notice a little BB lint?

7:19 AM

Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

I was thinking of you when I wrote my post today...see you later baby.

9:00 AM

Blogger crabcake said...

Ing, I'm shocked. I can't believe you posted a totally nude bellybutton with no rings, tats, no nuthin! That was HOT!

How can I possibly post mine now after that? It'd be like Star Jones dressing up in one of Angelina's tomb raider costumes.

Ya know, I kinda like the Captain's idea of getting the outties together with the innies.

PS. Like the new avatar!

10:13 AM

Blogger lryicsgrl said...

hey, i like the new are too cute lady!
what great abs, you just showin' off girlie!
got suckered into the game, but i don't know how to link to click..whatever you call it!!!

12:47 PM

Blogger lryicsgrl said...

hey gina, i did note how totally cute in a gorgeous kind of way, our Ing is.
btw, ginab, anyone tell you, you look like a young annette benning???

12:51 PM

Blogger ginab said...

Awe, no (red face), Lzygrl. Erm, is she old?

My stomach looks exactly like a mound of sand tho. ;-) No piercing sand. Imagine where my stomach would slide. Everywhichway.

2:02 PM

Blogger Satan said...

you are a hot little fire cracker arent you

welcome to hell baby the party is about to start

4:13 PM

Blogger Captain Carl said...

ARRRR........I bet satan has an outtie...............

4:58 PM

Blogger lryicsgrl said...

no, she is my age, exactly, but, lately, she, umm, is not looking that, umm, young.
it's probably just the make up for her lastest movie role. she plays that lady who killed her lover, dr. sarno?? i'm tired and all things i know, fly out of my brain before the fingers can hit the keypad.
it's only 9pm and i'm ready for bed.
hey, i'm the only one here without a picture profile.

btw, my word veri is hozno as in hoes? no!

6:04 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

I lost my belly button is a train accident. I dont like to talk about it much and stuff.

7:05 PM

Blogger matty said...

ing -- I wanna get a tat! A little Hello Kitty at the base of my spine just before one gets to my ass. Mistake or glory?

new experience? Plus, am thinking it would be wonderous to be branded with Hello Kitty!

8:12 PM

Blogger ing said...


You can hide out here, and please don't wait until spring, Bandini.



Do you have a gland left in your body, my man? My God, Josh, have a few of those glands replaced and keep it from your parents! I'll pay for it. I just have to ask JJ for some dough (I'll be right back).



Like butta?



WWTWSWHTPAg's? (What would Tom Waits say, were he to post at ginab's?)



Arr, can I borrow yer spyglass, matey?



We now know that it's possible, and Yaaaay!
[Jumps up and down, clapping hands.]



A Muni pas. . . if that's anything like a faux pas, those are free, baby.

Check's in the mail, by the way. [ibid]



Man, that must have been some lunch you had planned. Shopping with Lydia Lunch, then?



Oooohh, I don't want to get preggers. Can I just watch?



Did you just call me a little floozy? Is it the Bill thing? Okay, look at his picture! Can you blame me? For even one second?!

I thought not.



Fuckin' a yeaaaauughh.



Okay, hand over Captain Carl's spyglass and stop with the ogling, buddy.



You will see me later, though sometimes you're a little Anthony Burgess for my taste. I like my men conscious and aware, so tell Jesus to lay off, 'kay?



No need to be coy, Roy. You know that underneath that lacy top is one fine, fine bellybutton. DO NOT let that son of yours trick you, Crabby. You fine, and everyone knows it, so you gotta shows it.



Thanks! Though blondie, I'll never look as good as you.



Sand in the desert, you mean (e.g. hot).




Hey, will you make me a sandwich?

Thanks much,



And you have . . . (Seriously, that lace is obscuring the view, and Polyman's hogging the spyglass.)






You're in a Safe Place. Just let it all spill out. Here, have a tissue. I'm listening . . . Tell mama all about it, sug.



Mmmmmmmmyoumayregretthat. Go with something safe. Knights In Satan's Service, Scorps, Xanadu (now we are heeeeeere), or Deo. Anything with those jaggedy letters is cool. Same location, though.

8:48 PM

Blogger Bonfire Jones said...

Ing, Little Elvis? Where have you been? Did you run out of 'imprint memories?' Stop by & say hello sometime! Nice belly-button too!


Check out the band JellyFish. Their 1st album is called 'Belly Button' & I know you'll love it!

8:50 PM

Blogger matty said...

I guess I could go for a Xanadu tat. The logo lettering? I don't know, tho. I mean, how many Hello Kitty tats have you seen?

9:43 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

Yep. Lot of shit removed. Fart gland, belch gland, sarcasm gland, faux gland, feet stink glands, tear glands and so many more...I would cry but I cant (see above gland removal) it sounds crazy but I am probably the worlds foremost authority on living with multipleglandularemoveulosis. Dont cry for me, send money to people who really need help, I will carry on the best I can, gland free. My folks did forget the thanks gland soooo...Thanks JW

9:56 PM

Blogger ing said...


Jellyfish it is! Thanks (I still have that gland myself).



Okay, the day you land a job we'll both get the Hello Kitties. I want mine in the front, though. I've never seen a Hello Kitty yet, though one of my ex-boyfriends had a Steal Your Face, very sloppily rendered. Not recommended, unless you plan to sell those polished turd necklaces in The Haight.



Let's start a tattoo and Muni Pass fund for Matt, then. I'm really glad you didn't have your "Kind Regards" removed.

10:02 PM

Blogger matty said...

Oh, that's so sweet!

11:15 PM

Blogger ing said...

Sweets for the sweet, Matty.

11:20 PM

Blogger American Navel said...

awesome navel pic, yo. You should submit one to my blog.

2:55 AM

Blogger jungle jane said...

strewth. why is there an echo in my ears?

3:38 AM

Blogger ticharu said...

Ing, I'm slowing the pace of new postings to Plum Flower Dripping so I can print the lyrics and more info about the recordings/instrumentation details.

So just listen to the next thing up. Today it's 'Gone to Las Vegas'!
The inspiration for this track came from the Augusta Chronicle. I copied the headlines/lead stories page and turned it into... 'Gone To Las Vegas'

Can't neglect the words. Words are art too!

4:12 AM

Blogger lryicsgrl said...

Yo what up with "groggling"?
Did I say that?
WHAAAAAAT do you mean, my sista?

6:20 AM

Blogger kellywalters said...

I like your belly button.. Its very hot!!

BTW.. I start my project today..

My HNT is going to be beautiful!!

yes it will.. you'll see..

6:47 AM

Blogger Bonfire Jones said...

'The King is Half Undressed'

Had a feeling you knew of Jellyfish! Too bad they didn't break through. Ed

7:37 AM

Blogger ing said...


You can use this picture, if you want to . . .



What are you doing in my tupperware bowl?



Yes, they are! I'll have a listen. . .



I was talking about Mike S's comment. He said, "I eat like pig as well.I mean, I make snorting and groggling sounds!!! Hahaha!!"

And I thought, "Hahaha!! What's groggling?"

That Mike S cracks me up! Three lemons, rinds and all?!



I'll be anxiously waiting in my tupperware bowl!



I'll check around, I will. Are they hard to find? When I read of their influences (Queen, SMiLE-era Beach Boys, Nick Drake), I knew I had to listen! Should I begin with the Bellybutton album?

11:08 AM

Blogger Bonfire Jones said...

JellyFish had 2 'official' albums. Belly Button (1991) & Spilt Milk (1993) The latter has more Queen & Beachboys influences. They're both excellent!

They aren't too hard to locate. Try the used section in CD stores or Ebay. You'll love them! Ed

12:00 PM

Blogger lryicsgrl said...

Oh, self-centered me. Always thinking it's always about ME!
All I need to do is get on the TBWHM blog, and I realize, it ain't all about ME at all!

Yeah, I you gotta love that MIKE, he is a "crack me up, kinda guy" I just hope he found the right gal. One with kisses like a lemondrop!

12:53 PM

Blogger lryicsgrl said...

oops forgot the ng, after the I.
Now, how'd that happen?

12:54 PM

Blogger Captain Carl said... ya think minature plastic belly buttons arrrr sexy or what?

5:26 PM

Blogger ginab said...

Hot?. No...a conundrum of damp cold Michigan sand. No es sexy. If me were sexy me have hot bot and bo-diddly to go, yo.

all hours. groggling.

7:13 PM

Blogger ginab said...

My bellybutton resembles a hole through which my mother use to force feed me.

7:31 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

I'm thinking about having my brain gland removed. Its 12:23 Indy time and I should be in bed.Thanks and Kind Regards JW

9:25 PM

Blogger crallspace said...

You don't want to see mine. It's full of lint.

10:54 PM

Blogger ing said...


Thanks, I'll be on the lookout.



Ultimately, though, it is always about you, baby! It's your blog, after all!



Do I ever! Have you been working out? Yowsa!



Don't even! Your mind is Ceath Valley sand. Practically glass, at that temperature. You point, you speak. Muy caliente.



Nooooo! You've got Muchausen Syndrome! Stop it this instant!



Break out the vaccuum, then show your goods, bro.

12:20 AM

Blogger josh williams said...

ing: Thanks, I will put off having my brain gland removed.

7:45 AM

Blogger Bloodgood said...

I think your next posting should be on how people deal with their lent problems. I get the occasional lent stuck in my innie, I dig it out and have started a sculpture.

12:41 PM

Blogger ing said...

You don't have to worry about the lent problem until Ash Wednesday, bloodgood. Until then, have a ball!

I guess I deal with my own lent problem (I hate fasting) by not joining the Catholic Church. But if you're Catholic, I guess just load up when you can.

Hope that helps!

1:06 PM

Blogger matty said...

What is the deal with belly button lent, anyway? I mean, every night when I go to shower I have some. Why? How does that happen? Why don't I have lent all over my chest? ...or on my feet from my socks? What is it with belly buttons collecting paritcles from clothing.

I don't understand this mystery. ...sort of like the way socks just vanish.

1:41 PM

Blogger ing said...

Sock Stealer:

I heard about how you stole Josh Williams's black sock and made him skip work, man. Are you stealing lint from other peoples' belly buttons? I so far have never found lint in my own, and now I'm starting to wonder . . .

But seriously, I'm guessing that it's more prevalent with guys? Maybe something to do with the belly hair? This sounds like a problem for Josh Williams. I'll run over to his place and ask.

2:52 PM

Blogger matty said...

Oh no, I didn't take Josh's sock. I just knew where he left it. Not sure if he checked. I would never steal.
Gotta figure this whole male belly button lent thing out. ...or is it only me???

I know I'm a bit freaky, but am I total freak of nature? the way, I still need a job. I don't think my cold and my cold medicine helped me shine at my interviews today. but looks like I'll be getting a call back on one. ...but not till next week. UGH! Do you mind me using your blog to whine about my personal problems?

5:32 PM

Blogger ing said...

Whine away!

Sorry I falsely accused you. The world would be a better place if only I learned to trust people. . .

Keep marching through those interviews. You'll land something. It just takes time.

5:38 PM

Blogger josh williams said...

First of all Jane? Whats up, she was one of the few that would listen to my screed. Belly Button lent? Easy its a male gland, have it removed and no more belly button lent. Wait a minute, when I had a belly button before the train accident I had my belly button gland removed and solved the problem, thats it plain and simple. I have been using bread sacks for socks since they began disappearing, now the problem is they melt in my dryer. JW

8:01 PM

Blogger Bill the Apostle said...

I'm sorry I flirted with you in such a disgusting way :(

I just found out that me and Tad (the guy that pretended to be Jesus) are mean and insane.


8:05 PM

Blogger American Navel said...

You've been naveled. And by that I mean that your navel picture has been posted on americannavel.

thanks so much for the pic, and if you decide to take another picture of your navel, send it my way!

10:49 PM

Blogger ginab said...

I want feminisim, I want feminism.


6:11 AM

Blogger ing said...

Bill -- I'm puzzled about a few things.

1. I flirted back, a lot. Why do you assume that your comments were "disgusting" to me or that I took these comments seriously?

2. I don't know "Tad," but the Jesus postings appear to be written by more than one author.

3. The adverb, the emoticon, and the hasty reversal of 'tude are uncharacteristic -- so far I've never encountered a guy who would so readily apoplogize -- most couch their words in justification.


10:03 AM

Blogger ticharu said...

Busy week? I bought some beer, wanna come over? Gina is bringing stale pizza!

1:59 PM

Blogger ginab said...

Gina is bringing great poetry. She's eaten the stale pizza.

2:38 PM

Blogger Captain Carl said...

dzArrrr.....ta be young.....full of plastic.....and in yer dreams......Lets dance.....put on yer Red shoes.....and dance the blues

12:52 PM

Blogger ing said...

I'm slipping my little plastic feet into them as we speak, captain. Arrr!

7:38 PM

Blogger Croaker said...

Now there is a nice belly button. Thank god for HNT.

6:04 PM


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