The Biggest Kanakas in Hawaii II

Okelani's twin brothers, two robust young men, were the biggest kanakas in Hawaii. The sum of their biceps' circumferences ran a foot shy of a Malibu longboard. But Okelani Alii, a dainty young thing, was slight as a stalk of sugarcane.

When Okelani was twelve her breasts matched her body, two sunny-sides-up on a tray. But within three years they sprouted, then flourished, then ripened to full-blown casabas. Once she reached her feminine peak, the biggest kanakas in H-land vowed every young kane, kanaka or haole, would keep off their guileless sibling. So they shadowed their sister wherever she went -- across valleys and fields, under Manoa falls, and down to the pounding Pacific; over ridges and peaks and through coconut groves. Then at nightfall they tucked her in bed.

Okelani grew tired of her kanaka jailors and yearned to make love with a kane, but the leers she received from prospective mates lost their heat in proportion to distance. Remoteness depressed her and out of sheer longing she lost interest in leaving her house. At last the poor girl simply rested in bed, snacking on bits of jin dui. In time her figure plumped to a shape that resembled a very ripe pineapple. Minus the scaffold of her slender frame, Okelani's silhouette was less wondrous; she matured from an aberration of nature to a stately and full-grown wahine. And as a result the Alii twins stopped dogging their beautiful sister.

But since the kanakas had, for a time, trekked miles of arduous trails, Okelani's twin escorts slimmed down to stick-men (if stick-men pumped lots of iron). Though remaining the island's most strapping kanakas, they no longer prevailed as the biggest. And soon, the boldest and bravest kanes ventured out from behind their binoculars.

Not one kanaka can tell you today who fathered Okelani's twin keiki boys. But the Alii clan secretly hopes they'll outgrow their great big kanaka uncles.