This blog is welcome to anyone and everyone, regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation, or political affiliation. Unless you don't like writing short stories or smelling bear. Or if you voted for the other guy. Also, I don't really like it when you leave up the toilet seat, so could you stop doing that? Muchas, muchas gracias.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Isn't Richard Ford a Dreamboat?

Richard Ford, author of many brilliant stories, Pulitzer- and Pen/Faulkner-winner, guy-who-hunted-ducks-with Ray-Carver, is a Huge Fox! I rode my bike for miles to see him at Capitola Book Cafe, and, figuring him for a leg man, I wore short-shorts and sat in the front row. During the reading he sweated profusely. You know why? Because he was (and is) hot. So he was sweating profusely, wiping his hands on his polo shirt as if he was nervous, but no, he's a famous and handsome writer. If anything, he's nervous about all the ladies in the audience drooling at once. Me, though? I was super nervous, because I was determined to meet him in person.

After the reading, I waited in line for twenty minutes, sort of stretching my legs and trying to catch his eye. Then, finally, it was my turn. Mr. Ford asked me what he should write in my book. I knew what I wanted him to say but instead, I just sort of croaked my name at him. He signed, leaving a sweaty fingerprint on the page, and that was that.

And riding home, my bare legs freezing, my Granta Book of the American Short Story stuffed into my backpack (my ex-boyfriend has long since sold it, I think), I thought about what he DID write. "To Ingrid, With Gratitude." It was much grander than anything I might have wished for, and much more distancing.

9 Comments:

Blogger davi said...

Ingrid dreams of Fording the river of love on her new dreamboat.

8:19 AM

 
Blogger ginab said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:43 AM

 
Blogger ing said...

Sorry, sweets. I misread your comment -- which was frickin funny. Would you repost it, if you have time for that kind of thing?

Every time I get a message from you, because of the accompanying image, I think Beatrice wrote it, typing away with her claws. Right now she's looking at me reproachfully.

Oh, speaking of deletes, I put a link in my sidebar to your site and one to Davi's. This morning, though, I found that they were gone. Is there a limit to the number of links one can have?

Boring, technical. I stayed up until 3am, and I feel ancient.

Davi, punster.

10:04 AM

 
Blogger ginab said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:44 AM

 
Blogger ginab said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:20 AM

 
Blogger ing said...

Here's ginab's deleted post, which was pretty much impossible to misread (sorry, ginab).

* * *

Howdy,

at work, reading blogs. saying howdy to my pal Ing.

I think I could read this blog, the text, from across the room, with one hand placed over one eye. Not sure my mac can hack the fancy colours (note the 'u'). but I'm at work, where I'm about to warm up Chinese food.

Not as yummy to you as the author man here. I hope one day you get to enjoy him, so he might learn "gratitude".

* * *

I have to fly off to Santa Cruz. The ex, who suddenly left to help the victims of Hurrican Katrina, abandoned our dog. Since I live and work in San Francisco now, I can't really stay with the dog -- plus, I have tons of grading to do. Arr! Anyway, before I can put the dog in a kennel for who knows how long (the ex neglected to tell me when he'd be back), I have to get her inoculated. Meaning, I may not make it to that reality show interview.

Looks like it's time to say goodbye forever to him, to our house, to the dog. Sometimes I just can't believe that all this is really happening.

If anyone reads this, please know that none of us can avoid a life-altering tragedy. I won't go into detail about mine, but just know that tragedy WILL strike, that it happens to everyone, that you will spin off into some weird future, that you will have a story so unbelievable that to you, at least, it will sound like fiction, and that you are not alone.

12:50 PM

 
Blogger ing said...

Oh, and so much for quitting smoking.

Bleah.

1:02 PM

 
Blogger ginab said...

Thanks for the repost. Seems sily, but I deleted comments because I kept screwing them up:-).

You're not alone, tho I wish I could be around in a more real way for you. Remember that time we tracked through the Commons? We took a short cut along a densly wooded path, and we nearly jumped out of our pants because of a dark stump that eerily resembled something else. Who knew what we were thinking, except that we were thinking rather alike right there.

Whenever I see the stump I give it the finger, after approaching it with still an eerie hesitation. If only I could experience the same fear over seeing a pack of cigs or a jar of Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise.

4:54 PM

 
Blogger JackJumpedOverTheMoon said...

Ooooh, I like what you've done with the layout, ing!

Hiya!!! (As per requested by Gina)

Jack

5:20 PM

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home